Today I Google cigarette lighters

I was shocked when I got over 15 million matches.

I did a Google search for a cigarette lighter.

Ended up with 15,000 matches.

How do you make a packet of cigarettes a cigarette lighter?

Take one out

The Giant Cigarette Lighter

A guy walks into a bar and sits beside another guy and immediately notices he has a giant cigarette lighter.

The first guy says "Wow! That's a huge lighter! Where'd you get it?" The other guy replies, "A genie from this bottle granted me one wish."

"Cool! Can I try it?"

"Sure."...

Getting my dad some strong aftershave and a cigarette lighter for Christmas.

Can't wait to see his face light up.

There were three guys on a boat. One of them had one last cigarette, but no lighter. He asked his friend if he had a cigarette lighter. His friend took the last cigarette and tossed it overboard.

"Hey why'd you do that?!" he yelled at his friend.

"There you go. Now the whole boat is a cigarette lighter."

Why did the cricket team need cigarette lighters?

Because they lost all of their matches!

2 men are out fishing and each wanted a cigarette. They had 3 cigarettes, but no lighter. How did they light their cigarettes?

>!they threw one cigarette overboard and the boat became a cigarette lighter!<

Nighttime. You're alone on a small boat at sea, hours away from any land. All you brought with you is a pack of cigarettes. You wanna smoke, but realize you forgot a lighter. What do you do?

You just take out a cigarette, throw it off the boat into the water... thus, making the boat a cigarette lighter.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A zookeeper walks into a bar

A zookeeper walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Damn it's been a hell of a day. Some idiot visitor tossed a cigarette lighter into the monkey cage. We had a hell of a time getting it away from them. Every time we went near the cage they'd start throwing feces at us, which wasn't that bad, til they ...

[Dad Jokes] 3 guys are on a boat with 4 cigarettes but nothing to light them with.

So they throw one cigarette overboard and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter.



*Wow this blew up!! I didn't expect it to get so many upvotes! THANK YOU! I heard this joke from my friend today and I decided to share it with Reddit.*

*Thank you for the silver! First time receivi...

Ebay needs to step their game up.

I searched for a cigarette lighter and 15,000 matches came up.

2 smokers are out on a cruise on a boat.

They realise they are stuck in the middle of the sea without a lighter.

Smoker 1: What are we gonna do?

Smoker 2 proposes a solution, “I will throw one cigarette out of the boat into the water.”

Smoker 1 is confused, and smoker 2 tells him to observe. He throws a cigarette out i...

Two men were out fishing

when one decides to have a smoke He asks the other guy if he has a lighter He replies "Yes I do!" and hands the other a 10 inch long cigarette lighter Surprised the guy asks "Where did you get this?" The guy replies "Oh I have a personal genie." The first man asks "Can I make a wish? " Sure says the...

Two sailors on a boat each wanted to smoke.

However, they could not find their lighters.

So, they threw a cigarette overboard to make the boat a cigarette lighter.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On the way home from dinner, three friends died in a car crash.

When the arrived at the gates of Heaven, St. Peter said he would let them in if they had something related to Christmas on them.

The first one pulled out a cigarette lighter. “It looks like a little Christmas candle,” he said. St. Peter reluctantly let him pass.
The second friend pulled...

Two drunk men were leaving a bar [Long]

Two drunk men were leaving a bar and decided to drive home.

After driving for a while, they noticed the head of an old man at their window. The driver checked and saw that the car waa going at 40mph and there was no way a man of such age could keep up.

Nontheless, fear striken, he rol...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Four Men Are In A Rowboat...

They're fishing and after a couple hours without success, they all decide it's time for a smoke. They pull out their packs, but alas, no one has anything to light the cigarettes with.

That's when they throw one of their cigarettes over board.

Now the boat is a cigarette lighter.

An engineer, a chemist, and a linguist are in a boat...

They've been lost at sea for 3 months. Rations have been entirely exhausted and all they have left is a cigarette for each of them, but they've used all of their matches. The engineer begins rubbing two pieces of driftwood together, vainly attempting to create a small flame, but with no luck. The ch...

3 blokes died on christmas eve

they all get up to the pearly gates, saint peter said "sorry boys i cant let you in, unless you've got something christmassy on you" so he said to the scotsman "what have you got?" so he fiddled around and come out with a set of keys and rattled them, and said 'I've got a christmas bell" "in to heav...

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