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Christmas Season Jokes

Christmas Joke... Three men died....

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'
The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it o...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Friends - please be careful this Christmas season

Friends - please be careful this Christmas season

Yesterday I went to Christmas party. I had a few beers, followed by a few cocktails, followed by a few shots...

I still had the sense to know that I was over the limit. That's when I decided to do what I've never done before: I took a ...

One cold winter morning, during the Christmas season, a mailman was doing his route.

As he was
delivering all the Christmas cards, he came to a
house and realized that they had so much mail that
it wouldn't fit in the box, so he decided to knock
on the door.

As the door was answered, a beautiful blond woman
stood staring at him. The mailman said "I'm sorry
...

Where?

A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth.

He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc.
...

How many letters are in the alphabet during the Christmas Season?

Only 25...because there's Noel.

The Grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season! Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason. I could be his head wasn't screwed on just right. It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight. But I think that the most likely reason of all may have been that

he was Jewish.

Why does Melania Trump love the Christmas season?

Because there’s no orange in cider.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three lads die on Christmas Eve...

Three lads die on Christmas Eve. They approach the pearly gates and St. Peter says that in the Spirit of Christmas, that if they can produce an item representing the Christmas season, they will gain admission. 

David the Englishman pulls out his lighter, flashes it and states, "'Tis a candle ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Apparently it's inappropriate for a group of white kids to put on a play of Aladdin, as it is racially insensitive and cultural appropriation. Possibly white washing.

I wonder if we'll see more Jews in Nativity Pageants come Christmas season this year.

A Christmas Story

One particular Christmas season a long time ago Santa was ready for his Christmas run... but there were problems. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Cla...

The Christmas Chess Tournament

The chess tournament during the Christmas season was pretty well attended, and the players were having a great time. After each pair finished their game, they would go back over it, sometimes involving others and spectators to discuss moves made and moves that should have been made, and the winners ...

Sad Christmas Story

Late last week, I was rushing around trying to get some last minute shopping done. I was stressed out and not thinking very fondly of the Christmas season right then. It was dark, cold, and wet in the parking lot as I was loading my car up with gifts that I felt obligated to buy. I noticed that I wa...

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