Black Friday

It's Black Friday, and at the local Best Buy, people are lining up around the block. A well-dressed man comes to the front of the line and is beaten up by the people in the line. He tries again and is knocked down. He then mutters "if people will be like that, I'm not opening the store."

A local hospital is offering Black Friday specials on circumcisions.

Up to 50% off.

They’re having a great sale in person at the mall for Black Friday

Everything is buy one, get achoo free

I headed out before dawn today and braved some insane crowds, to snag some Black Friday deals.

The only thing I think I scored was a case of COVID-19.

Attention ladies "BLACK FRIDAY SALE"

My house.

You And Me...All Clothes 100% Off.

If you're going shopping on Black Friday, please be considerate...

By turning your phone horizontal before recording any fights.

That's all!

I've often wondered why they call it "black friday"

Is it because we're getting things at a steal?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Black Friday shopping during a pandemic is a lot like banging a back alley prostitute without a condom.

You know you might catch something, but you can't beat a great bargain.

Why dont hookers do black friday specials?

Because they usually have things half off.

I don't know what the big deal is about Black Friday.

All Fridays matter.

I've saved an absolute fortune this Black Friday.

I stayed in.

Today, I arrived at a local Black Friday sale at 7 AM and saw the riot police

I had never seen the riot police arrive this early before, so o asked them why they came so early.

One of them replied, “We arrived early, because we like to beat the crowd.”

Did y’all hear about the guy who shot himself in Walmart in Black Friday?

They’re calling it a self-checkout

Amazing BLACK FRIDAY deal:

Buy NOTHING and save up to 100% in EVERY STORE!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Twin and I Were Born on Black Friday

My mom got a pretty shitty two-for-one deal.

Bought a new vacuum on black friday

It sucks

All this Spending on Black Friday

Better make sure ya'll pay the electric bill first or next Friday will be Black Friday too

Black Friday sale on Star Wars Battlefront 2

Save up to $2160 by not buying it

Who experienced the first Black Friday?

- removed -

It’s Black Friday... do you like sales?

Because of you’re looking for a good one, clothing is 100% off at my place.

Never understood the point of black friday

Could have sworn we already gave them a whole month

Why do cops love going to Black Friday early?

So they can beat the crowd

If Jesus was born on Christmas and was resurrected on Easter, what happened on Black Friday?

Sales at K-Mart

I think it’s only fair the week after Black Friday be called White Friday

And then with the remaining Fridays before the next Black Friday, you can have fifty shades of grey.

Damn Amazon and their Black Friday deals

I ordered 4 Kindles and they sent me a 2 Ronnies DVD instead!

I've got the deal already worked out - this Black Friday, I'm getting a new Lexus for my wife

I think she's going to be really surprised - but from my perspective, it's an awesome trade.

Black Friday and I have a lot in common

It always comes too early once a year.

Why do Mormons get married on Black Friday?

Because they get 2 for 1.

By far the best black friday deal of 2017...

My bank account, with a 100% balance discount.

Why do they call it Black Friday?

I dunno, I'm just waiting to hear white people ask how come there's no White Friday.

Toys R Us black friday deals suck this year, don't waste your time... equipment.

What did Melania Trump have on her Black Friday shopping list?

A copy of everything Michelle Obama had on her list

Black Friday is tomorrow and people all across America are already stabbing and trampling one another...

...and then they heard about the Black Friday sales.

Fidel Castro Dies on Black Friday

Adam Smith: 1
Karl Marx: 0

I heard Missouri is having some great Black Friday sales this year...

100% off everything.

Black friday tomorrow and SW Battlefront 2 is most likely to appear.

Please, carefully avoid getting trampled by people moving as far as possible from stand displaying the game itself.

Why do they call it Black Friday?

Because the prices are so good you are practically stealing.

Handed in an assignment late today, looks like my teacher is giving black Friday deals too.

50% off

It's Black Friday, and I just got an iPhone 6 for my wife

I thought it was a good trade.

Thanks to /u/darcyboy on this one!

How is the Battle for Hogwarts like a Black Friday sale?

Weasley twins are 50% off

What does a Victoria's Secret Black Friday sale have in common with a girl about to get a spanking?

Both have panties half-off.

Last year I bought an instructional boxing DVD on Cyber Monday.

This year I'm going Black Friday shopping.

Retailers be like, remember everyone...

Black Friday matters.

Today a man stole my wallet

He took the 100 dollars i had with me and started counting the money. He gave me 50 dollars back. Confused, I asked why.
He said:
"Today's Black Friday, so every stolen wallet has a 50% discount!"

Today is Boxing Day in the UK, Canada, New Zealand, and Australia. Do you know when Boxing Day is celebrated in the United States?

Black Friday

Fidel Castro just passed away...

...I suppose Black Friday was too MUCH capitalism for him.

I heard there is a big online sale running in the US

Every state has his net sold out.. And I thought black Friday is the biggest shopping event.

This Friday millions of people will risk getting trampled to get the best seat on a car

This is commonly referred to as 'Rebecca Black Friday'.

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