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Black Friday Jokes

If you're going shopping on Black Friday, please be considerate...

By turning your phone horizontal before recording any fights.



That's all!

I don't know what the big deal is about Black Friday. All Fridays matter.

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

the bitcoin crash won't be as bad as black friday

At least we don't have to worry about people who jump out of their basement windows.

Attention ladies "BLACK FRIDAY SALE"

My house.

You And Me...All Clothes 100% Off.

Black Friday

It's Black Friday, and at the local Best Buy, people are lining up around the block. A well-dressed man comes to the front of the line and is beaten up by the people in the line. He tries again and is knocked down. He then mutters "if people will be like that, I'm not opening the store."

Never understood the point of black friday

Could have sworn we already gave them a whole month

A local hospital is offering Black Friday specials on circumcisions.

Up to 50% off.

Why do cops love going to Black Friday early?

So they can beat the crowd

They’re having a great sale in person at the mall for Black Friday

Everything is buy one, get achoo free

Bought a new vacuum on black friday

It sucks

All this Spending on Black Friday

Better make sure ya'll pay the electric bill first or next Friday will be Black Friday too

Black Friday sale on Star Wars Battlefront 2

Save up to $2160 by not buying it

Amazing BLACK FRIDAY deal:

Buy NOTHING and save up to 100% in EVERY STORE!

I've saved an absolute fortune this Black Friday.

I stayed in.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Twin and I Were Born on Black Friday

My mom got a pretty shitty two-for-one deal.

It’s Black Friday... do you like sales?

Because of you’re looking for a good one, clothing is 100% off at my place.

Damn Amazon and their Black Friday deals

I ordered 4 Kindles and they sent me a 2 Ronnies DVD instead!

I think it’s only fair the week after Black Friday be called White Friday

And then with the remaining Fridays before the next Black Friday, you can have fifty shades of grey.

Fidel Castro Dies on Black Friday

Adam Smith: 1
Karl Marx: 0

Why do Mormons get married on Black Friday?

Because they get 2 for 1.

I headed out before dawn today and braved some insane crowds, to snag some Black Friday deals.

The only thing I think I scored was a case of COVID-19.

Why do they call it Black Friday?

I dunno, I'm just waiting to hear white people ask how come there's no White Friday.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Black Friday shopping during a pandemic is a lot like banging a back alley prostitute without a condom.

You know you might catch something, but you can't beat a great bargain.

Why do they call it Black Friday?

Because the prices are so good you are practically stealing.

By far the best black friday deal of 2017...

My bank account, with a 100% balance discount.

Black Friday at the geology museum was great!

There were so many great shales!

Did y’all hear about the guy who shot himself in Walmart in Black Friday?

They’re calling it a self-checkout

Today, I arrived at a local Black Friday sale at 7 AM and saw the riot police

I had never seen the riot police arrive this early before, so o asked them why they came so early.

One of them replied, “We arrived early, because we like to beat the crowd.”

What did Melania Trump have on her Black Friday shopping list?

A copy of everything Michelle Obama had on her list

How is the Battle for Hogwarts like a Black Friday sale?

Weasley twins are 50% off

It's Black Friday, and I just got an iPhone 6 for my wife

I thought it was a good trade.

Thanks to /u/darcyboy on this one!

I heard Missouri is having some great Black Friday sales this year...

100% off everything.

Toys R Us black friday deals suck this year, don't waste your time...

...travel equipment.

Black friday tomorrow and SW Battlefront 2 is most likely to appear.

Please, carefully avoid getting trampled by people moving as far as possible from stand displaying the game itself.

If Jesus was born on Christmas and was resurrected on Easter, what happened on Black Friday?

Sales at K-Mart

Black Friday is tomorrow and people all across America are already stabbing and trampling one another...

...and then they heard about the Black Friday sales.

Fidel Castro just passed away...

...I suppose Black Friday was too MUCH capitalism for him.

I heard there is a big online sale running in the US

Every state has his net sold out.. And I thought black Friday is the biggest shopping event.

This Friday millions of people will risk getting trampled to get the best seat on a car

This is commonly referred to as 'Rebecca Black Friday'.

I've got the deal already worked out - this Black Friday, I'm getting a new Lexus for my wife

I think she's going to be really surprised - but from my perspective, it's an awesome trade.

What does a Victoria's Secret Black Friday sale have in common with a girl about to get a spanking?

Both have panties half-off.

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