Chloroform Jokes - 29 Hilarious Chloroform Jokes

I always use chloroform when stealing a child.

Really puts the "nap" in "kidnap".

upvote

downvote

report

An anesthesiologist asks his colleague, "Man I borrow some chloroform?"

"Knock yourself out."

upvote

downvote

report

Good choice.

Me: To make a woman laugh is the second best method to get her to sleep with you.

Her: And what is the best method?

Me: Chloroform.

Her: You are funny!

Me: Good choice.

upvote

downvote

report

my kid asked if he could buy a chemistry set to make chloroform.

I said sure, knock yourself out.

upvote

downvote

report

Does this joke smell like chloroform to you?

Well it kinda do-

upvote

downvote

report

If you're going to drink and drive, always carry a flask in your car

If you get pulled over for a DUI, put the flask in your lap, suspiciously insist that it's "water," and that's when the officer finds out that's it's chloroform.

upvote

downvote

report

The Scots invented hypnosis, chloroform and the hypodermic syringe.

Wouldn't it just be easier to talk to a woman?

upvote

downvote

report

It takes up to 5 minutes for Chloroform to work

And it takes additional applications for the desired outcome.

......talk about an awkward evening

upvote

downvote

report

How to get out of friendzone

"Hey does this rag smell like chloroform to you?" Works everytime

upvote

downvote

report

Ruin a date in 5 words...

Does this smell like chloroform?

upvote

downvote

report

A man and a women are on a blinddate

Suddenly the man says: „ You know, I have experienced that humor is the second best method to get someone in bed“
Puzzled she asks him: „ Then what is the best?“
He answers: „ Chloroform“
She chuckles: „You certainly have humor“
He mutters:„Good choice“

upvote

downvote

report

What is the most calming scent?

Chloroform

upvote

downvote

report

LPT: If you've got toddlers at home, and you're going to take them out...

You can probably get away with using a light sedative. Save chloroform for children 12 and older.

upvote

downvote

report

I asked my secret crush if she wanted to invest in my new invention idea, chloroform kleenex.

She decided to sleep on it...at my place.

upvote

downvote

report

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I have this thing for girls with big butts

Chloroform.

Attention: The chemical CHCl3 has been proven to reduce the spread of COVID-19.

So before you leave your home to engage in risky behavior, make sure you soak your mask in chloroform.

upvote

downvote

report

What’s the most effective chat up line in the world?

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

upvote

downvote

report

How do you make any girl fall for you?

Chloroform

upvote

downvote

report

I was walking behind a girl late at night

I open silently the bottle of chloroform so she doesn't freak out.
I put out my tissue,
put chloroform on it,
*sneezing*
clean my nose,
and pass out

I'm not a smart man

upvote

downvote

report

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yeah sex is great and all that...

But chloroform gets expensive after a week or two

A young altar boy walks into a room with a priest

The priest instructs him to observe his surroundings.

"What do you see"

"I see a light, and some walls, and a door."

"Now, what do you hear"

"I hear birds chirping and the wind blowing."

The priest gestured to the boy and showed him a small rag.

"Now, what d...

upvote

downvote

report

What cologne does Bill Cosby wear?

Chloroform

upvote

downvote

report

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Theme 3: 1 Liners, Words of Wisdom

*I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

*Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

*Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Girlfriend caught me having sex last night

I'm surprised she woke up, next time I'll use more chloroform.

I've gotten 100000+ girls in bed with this line.

Does my handkerchief smell like chloroform?

upvote

downvote

report

What's colorless and smells sweet?

Chloroform

SHHHH..

upvote

downvote

report

Why did I need to bring a shovel on my first date?

Clearly the chloroform wasn't enough.

upvote

downvote

report

Welcome to organic chemistry

Where questions like 'where do you keep your chloroform?', are no longer suspicious.

upvote

downvote

report

A girl who I've been seeing goes to sleep early.

But that's mostly from the chloroform.

upvote

downvote

report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.