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Chloroform Jokes

I always use chloroform when stealing a child.

Really puts the "nap" in "kidnap".

An anesthesiologist asks his colleague, "Man I borrow some chloroform?"

"Knock yourself out."

Good choice.

Me: To make a woman laugh is the second best method to get her to sleep with you.

Her: And what is the best method?

Me: Chloroform.

Her: You are funny!

Me: Good choice.

my kid asked if he could buy a chemistry set to make chloroform.

I said sure, knock yourself out.

Does this joke smell like chloroform to you?

Well it kinda do-

If you're going to drink and drive, always carry a flask in your car

If you get pulled over for a DUI, put the flask in your lap, suspiciously​ insist that it's "water," and that's when the officer finds out that's it's chloroform.

The Scots invented hypnosis, chloroform and the hypodermic syringe.

Wouldn't it just be easier to talk to a woman?

It takes up to 5 minutes for Chloroform to work

And it takes additional applications for the desired outcome.

......talk about an awkward evening

How to get out of friendzone

"Hey does this rag smell like chloroform to you?" Works everytime

A man and a women are on a blinddate

Suddenly the man says: „ You know, I have experienced that humor is the second best method to get someone in bed“
Puzzled she asks him: „ Then what is the best?“
He answers: „ Chloroform“
She chuckles: „You certainly have humor“
He mutters:„Good choice“

Ruin a date in 5 words...

Does this smell like chloroform?

What is the most calming scent?

Chloroform

LPT: If you've got toddlers at home, and you're going to take them out...

You can probably get away with using a light sedative. Save chloroform for children 12 and older.

I asked my secret crush if she wanted to invest in my new invention idea, chloroform kleenex.

She decided to sleep on it...at my place.

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I have this thing for girls with big butts

Chloroform.

Attention: The chemical CHCl3 has been proven to reduce the spread of COVID-19.

So before you leave your home to engage in risky behavior, make sure you soak your mask in chloroform.

What’s the most effective chat up line in the world?

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

How do you make any girl fall for you?

Chloroform

I was walking behind a girl late at night

I open silently the bottle of chloroform so she doesn't freak out.
I put out my tissue,
put chloroform on it,
*sneezing*
clean my nose,
and pass out

I'm not a smart man

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Yeah sex is great and all that...

But chloroform gets expensive after a week or two

A young altar boy walks into a room with a priest

The priest instructs him to observe his surroundings.

"What do you see"

"I see a light, and some walls, and a door."

"Now, what do you hear"

"I hear birds chirping and the wind blowing."

The priest gestured to the boy and showed him a small rag.

"Now, what d...

What cologne does Bill Cosby wear?

Chloroform

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Theme 3: 1 Liners, Words of Wisdom

*I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

*Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

*Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Girlfriend caught me having sex last night

I'm surprised she woke up, next time I'll use more chloroform.

I've gotten 100000+ girls in bed with this line.

Does my handkerchief smell like chloroform?

What's colorless and smells sweet?

Chloroform

SHHHH..

Why did I need to bring a shovel on my first date?

Clearly the chloroform wasn't enough.

Welcome to organic chemistry

Where questions like 'where do you keep your chloroform?', are no longer suspicious.

A girl who I've been seeing goes to sleep early.

But that's mostly from the chloroform.

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