UPJOKE
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Carbonated Jokes

The earth is 80% water. None of that water is carbonated.

The earth is flat.
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I dream of one day swimming in an ocean of orange carbonated water

It's my Fanta sea.
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What do you call someone with a doctorate in carbonated beverages?

A *fizz*ician
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The oceans are comprised of minimally-carbonated salt water.

Therefore, the Earth is flat.
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I don't get why some people only drink carbonated water.

The alternative is still water.
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In college, I plan to study Food Science, specializing in carbonated beverages.

My dad always wanted me to become a fizzicist.
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What happens, when you let the gas out of carbonated water?

Not much. It's still water
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I was doing a crossword the other day and my girlfriend asked "What's the clue?" I said "Lemon and lime carbonated drink " she replied " 7up ?"

I said "Nah three across"...
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A new carbonated beverage mimics the sounds of a human voice when you pour it out of the bottle.

or out of the can, soda speak.
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The power of Pepsi

So a couple of friends of mine, one black, one white were at a protest and wondered which carbonated drink makes the police the most peaceful. Turns out it really is Pepsi. You see, my white friend went up to the front of the protest and shouted to the cops "Anybody wanna buy some Pepsi?!" and the c...
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Say what you will about flat earth theory

But last time I checked all the water on the surface of the earth isn't carbonated
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Flat Earthers vindicated

The surface of the earth is approx 70% water. None of it is carbonated, thus proving the earth is flat.
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