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Calming Jokes

Keeping tropical fish at home can have a truly calming effect on the brain.

Due to all the indoor fins.

What is the most calming scent?

Chloroform

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Jews die and wait outside the pearly gates.

While waiting they realise that they both survived the same concentration camp.

After some chatting, one says to the other: "remember that time when the guard pushed you onto the electric fence and you almost died?" A second of silence passes and suddenly they both start laughing hystericall...

My first attempt at writing a joke, please take it easy on me.

A man walks into a candy shop, as he is perusing around the shop he notices the shopkeep waving him over to the counter. Not sure what he is really looking for he makes his way over to the counter to see if the shopkeep can be of any assistance.

Man: I'm not quite sure what I'm looking for, n...

I was part of a scientific study on the calming effects of listening to the Three Tenors.

I felt great, but was in the control group. It turns out I was listening to Placebo Domingo.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife thrust a picture under my nose. "What the fuck is this!" she asked. "Well," I calmly replied, "It appears to be a photo of me fondling your sister's massive breasts... But you do know that's not real, don't you, babe?" "Really? she said, calming down.

"Obviously" I replied, "They're implants".

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