Blonde Hair Jokes - 34 Hilarious Blonde Hair Jokes

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Two guys, one old timer and one in his mid 20's, are pushing their carts around Lowe's when they collide.

The old timer says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

The young guy says, "That's a funny coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."

The old guy...

Guy comes home from work, finds his blonde haired wife sitting at the kitchen table.

Shes looking at the table, and concentrating super hard. She is visibly frustrated.

Husband asks "What's wrong honey?"

She replies, "I've been working on this puzzle all day. Its supposed to be a tiger, I can't get any of these puzzle pieces to match."

Husband sighs, "Honey... P...

I swiped right on a girl without a picture, and we matched.

# So after a brief chat i went to go pick her up. I wasn't expecting much, probably 300 lbs with bad skin, but hey, I was so desperate it was this or join an incel chatroom.

I walked up to the door and lo and behold, 5'2", baby blue eyes, strawberry blonde hair, all the right curves in all th...

I used to have a friend with the most beautiful blonde hair

I haven't seen them in so long and I really hope they didn't dye

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Two Belgians walk into a police station

Two Belgians walk into a police station and say: "Our Dutch friend is missing. Please help us."

Officer: "Can you describe him to me?"

Belgians: "He's tall, has blue eyes and blonde hair"

Officer: "You described half the Netherlands with this. You got anything more specific?"...

Mrs. Schmidt hires a maid with beautiful blonde hair.

The first morning, the girl pulls off the hair and says, "I wear a wig, because I was born totally hairless. Not a hair on my body, not even down there."

That night, Mrs. Schmidt tells her husband.

He says, "I've never seen anything like that. Please tomorrow, ask her to go into the b...

What do you call a smiley with short, blonde hair?

Smiley Cyrus

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A man enters the confessional

He says to the priest “father, do you know that new girl who moved into town?”

“Kathrine? That supermodel with the blonde hair and the long legs?”

“That’s the one father. Well, I’ve been sleeping with her all week. We did it twice a day Monday to Friday, and then on Saturday we did it ...

What do you call several blonde hair blue-eyed men doing the 100 meter dash?

The superior race

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My friend was dating two blonde haired, blue eyed twins from Sweden, but he couldn’t tell the difference between them.

He finally worked out that Anna has a little freckle on her right butt cheek, and Bjorn has a moustache.

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Met the woman of my dreams last night; Tall, long blonde hair, beautiful face, perky boobs and a huge blue cock with a snake's head at the end.

I have some fucking weird dreams.

A husband and a wife have four children the oldest three are tall with blonde hair, the youngest is short with brown hair. The husband was on his deathbed and said

“honey, can you be completely honest with me, is our youngest son mine?” The wife says “I swear to all that is holy he is your son.” Then the husband died and the wife muttered, “thank god he didn’t ask about the other three.”

What do you call a blue eyed, blonde haired person who doesn't eat meat?

A vegetaryan

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a child with blonde hair and blue eyes?

I guess two Wongs really do make a white.

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A young lady in the maternity ward is asked by the midwife if she would like her husband to be present at the birth of her child.

“I'm afraid I don't have a husband" she replies. "Okay do you have a boyfriend?" asks the Midwife. "No, no boyfriend either".

"Do you have a partner then?" "No, I'm not attached to anyone. I'll be having my baby on my own".

After the birth the midwife again speaks to the young woman. “...

What do you call a blonde haired skeleton in the closet?

Last year's Hide and Go seek champion.

What did the blonde haired, blue eyed soldier become when he left the army?

A veteran aryan.

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What did the Asian man say to his wife when the hospital nursery tried to send them home with a blonde hair, blue-eye baby?

Hmmm... two Wongs don't make a white.

Three men work on top of a building.

They are taking their lunch break when the brown haired man says, “Chicken salad again! If I get chicken salad again I’m going to jump.”

Next the red haired man says, “Tuna fish again! If I get tuna fish again I’m going to jump.”

The third blonde haired man says, “PBJ again! If I get P...

As a school project, we wanted to perform a Jesus play

but the only guy who had the traditional famous Jesus look had blonde hair.

We begged him to dye it black, but he refused.

After explaining it to his parents, they agreed to let their son dye for our scenes.

There once was a Roman named Vitus, he developed the first form of haircoloring. It was a sort of paste that changed his blonde hair to red. However, a side effect was incredibly bad breath.

This became known as the first confirmed case of Gingervitis.

Three women are driving in a car, until they crash into a tree, and all three of them die and go to heaven.

God explains to the three ladies, that both of them lived good lives, without sin. And he let's then through the gate into heaven, but not before telling them that there's only one rule in heaven:

"Don't step on the ducks" The women are confused at first, until they finally enter heaven, and ...

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I’ve been dating twins.

It’s hard to tell them apart sometimes. Susie has blonde hair, while Mike has a dick.

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A blonde, redhead, and black girl survive a plane crash at sea...

They all climb aboard a raft, and the blonde says "girls I know how to get us rescued." She then let's all her beautiful blonde hair out of her ponytail and say's "Men always find me because of my bright blonde hair, the coast guard men will find us in no time!" The redhead then decides to take her ...

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Three men arrive in heaven at the same time. St. Peter comes out to greet them.

"Sorry about this guys," says St. Peter. "God didn't realize just how many people would get into heaven, so we have a new policy. You now have to tell me the story of how you died, and if I think it's sad or interesting enough, I'll let you in."

He walks up to the first man who is a nerdy, bo...

What is a Karen called in England?

A Blonde haired prick

Entitled Parent Joke

So I was at a restaurant with my family and this woman came up with a child. She looked about 40 with blonde hair. The child looked about 5 with also blonde hair. The child was crying at the time and the woman started to nag at us. Apparently, the child wanted a dessert and, lucky for us, we were th...

That's my wife

So, two guys, one old and one young, are pushing their carts around a mall like they're in a real-life game of Mario Kart.

They collide, and the old guy turns to the young guy and says, 'Sorry about that, I'm just trying to find my wife. I'm getting up there in age, and my memory ain't what ...

Nine Words

Once upon a time, long before any type of writing or sign language there lived an attractive young prince.

This prince, through no fault of his own, was cursed by a witch such that he was only allowed to say one word per year.

Fortunately, however, he WAS allowed to save up his words.<...

Morning Love Making

Tyrone asked his work buddy, Robert, one morning, "Man, why you always so damn happy when you come to work everyday?" Robert replied, "That's because I make love to my wife every morning before work."

Amazed, Tyrone asked him how he gets his wife to make love to him every morning. "That's ea...

Before Luke Skywalker died, he saw his mother and father before him...

His mom asked why he had blonde hair when he was young, as neither she nor anikin had it.

Luke fell silent, but before he could answer, his father answered " he was going through a rebel phase, dear"

My friend's just told me that he's dating twins. I asked him if he had any trouble telling them apart.

"Not at all." he said "It's really easy actually. Helen's got blonde hair and Brian's got a beard."

The blond one

There was a typical blonde. She had long, blonde hair, blue eyes, and she was sick of all the blonde jokes.

One day, she decided to get a makeover, so she cut and dyed her hair. She also went out and bought a new convertible. She went driving down a country road and came across a herd of shee...

Drunk guy sat at a bar

Drunk guy sat at a bar, is on his 15+ beer of the evening when he notices 3 newcomers enter the pub and sit at the bar next to him.

"Hey, wanna hear a dumb blonde joke?" he asks the nearest one.

The newcomer turns to face him and for the first time he see it's a lady with blonde hair.<...

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