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Bever Jokes

We all know the zip code to Beverly Hills, it’s 90210. But do you remember the one for Dawson’s Creek?

It’s 90108 (for our lives to be over)

Inflation in the USA is so high at this point that...…

\- I recieved a predeclined credit card in the mail.
\- CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
\- Exxon-Mobil fired 25 Congressmen.
\- McDonald's is selling the amazing 1/4 ouncer.
\- Angelina Jolie adopted a kid from the US.
\- Moms and Dad's in Beverly Hills let go of ...

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What do you call a way overpriced, botched Beverly Hills boob job?

A Nordstrom Rack

An elderly gentleman was on his deathbed as his wife and three children and nurse stood close by

Then he spoke:“Bill, you take the Beverly Hills houses.“Mary, you take the offices in the Center Center.“Debra, the apartments over the L.A. Plaza are yours.“To my dear wife, take all the residential buildings near downtown.”
The nurse was really impressed. She said, “Your husband must have been ...

How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One. She just holds it in place, while the world revolves around her. * Beverly Hills ninja edit... rotates to revolves

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Beverly hills has arguably the best known zipcode with 90210

My favorite though is Dawson's creek 90108 (for our lives to be over)

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A beaver swims in the river and notices a cow smoking on the shore.

"Hey, cow! Whatcha doin?"

"Nothing... Just chillin..."

"And what's this funky smelling cigarette?"

"Oh! That's pot. It makes you chill. Wanna try?"

The beaver took a puff and started coughing immediately.

"Dude! You need to hold it! Inhale... Waaaait... Exhale"
...

This just in, Beverly Hills, 90210

Cleveland Browns, 3

>Credit to Colin Mochrie from *Whose Line Is It Anyway?*

A rich blonde woman from Beverly Hills was at the dentist about to get her tooth pulled.

The dentist asked, "Do you want a local anesthetic?"

She shook her head and said, "Let's not pinch pennies, doctor. I only want the best! Do you have anything imported?”

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Two ladies meet in heaven

Woman 1 turns to woman 2 and says, "Susan! You're here too? How'd you die?"
Susan: "Beverly! Yep, I'm dead. I froze to death."
Beverly: "That sounds horrible..."
Susan: "No, actually it's quite peaceful. Once you get past the cold, you just fall asleep and die. What about you? How'd you die...

Four guys meet at their 25 year high school reunion…

They sit at a table and begin catching up. They hadn’t spoken to each other since graduation. One guy gets up and excuses himself to use the restroom.

In his absence, the other begin talking about how rich and successful they’ve become and as a result how rich and successful their sons are. ...

How to increase your strength

An exercise for people who are out of shape: Begin with a five-pound potato bag in each hand. Extend your arms straight out from your sides, hold them there for a full minute, and then relax. After a few weeks, move up to ten-pound potato bags. Then try 50-pound potato bags, and eventually try t...

So it was the first day of school

A kid walks into class late and the teacher asks “why are you late”. He responds with “I was in Beverly Hills”. The teacher accepts that excuse, but gives him a tardy slip. A few minutes later, another kid walks into class late. The teacher once again asks “why are you late”. The kid responds with “...

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Jew praying to god

A Jew having no children, no money, no home and a blind mother, prays sincerely to God to improve his life.

God is very pleased with his prayer, and grants him one wish, just one!

The Jew says OK God, thanks, my one and only wish is - 'I want my Mom to see my wife putting one hundred m...

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Morning Jew

Morris Schwartz is on his deathbed, knows the end is near, is with his nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons. "So", he says to them:

"Bernie, I want you to take the Beverly Hills houses."

"Sybil, take the apartments over in Los Angeles Plaza."

"Hymie, I want you to take the o...

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A woman visited an Amazonian tribe on a research trip...

She spent several days taking notes on the lifestyle and habits of the tribe and interviewing their ruler, King Paolo, via an interpreter. As the tribe's land was near several rich gold mines, the king and his people were extremely wealthy.

During the woman's time with him, the king fell hop...

Everybody Knows Somebody Called DAVE.

Dave is an advertising executive in L.A., who is always boasting that he knows EVERYONE on the planet, & they all know him.

His colleagues love hearing his stories about this celebrity, or that politician. However, his boss doesn't believe a word & challenges him to prove his boasts....

Sharp Retort

A young, beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling like expensive perfume. She turns to an old woman and says arrogantly, "Giorgio Beverly Hills, $100 an ounce!"
Another young, beautiful woman gets onto the elevator and also smells of very expensive perfume. She arrogantly turns to the ol...

A jewelry store owner and his two employees go on lunch break together

At the restaurant they find a lamp on the booth seat.

The owner rubs it and a genie appears; "Ye who have summoned me, I will grant three wishes. Since there's three of you here, you each get one wish."

The first employee says "I wish I was riding a jetski by a tropical beach crowded ...

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Today's lession will be about the moral of a story...

If any student can tell me a story and then correctly tell me the moral of that story we will have recess the rest of the day. Little Beverly raises her hand...

My daddy works at a chicken farm. Each Sunday we gather all the eggs, put them in a basket, and take them to market. Last Sunday...

Bank President

A Rolls-Royce pulls up outside the posh Beverly Hills Hotel and the doorman walks down to greet the new guests. There are only two occupants in the car – the president of the country's leading bank and his ambitious wife Julia. She gasps when she sees the doorman then smiles and greets him warmly....

A bunch of Hollywood celebrities formed two baseball teams...

...to raise money for a charity.

The day of the match arrived and everyone was ready. The celebrities were dressed in their outfits, some practising their throws and catches, others practising their swing. Russell Crowe was selected to umpire.

The match started, and the two teams, "The...

Three sons having a discussion...

Three sons left home to make their fortunes, and they all did very, very well for themselves. They got together recently and were discussing what they each had done to benefit their aging mother.

"Well," said the first one, "I bought Mom a huge house in Beverly Hills."

"I bought her a ...

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Movie Quiz

Try this quick and easy test. Scroll down and do the quiz as it instructs and find out what movie is your favorite. It Really works! This amazing math quiz can likely predict which of 19 films you would enjoy the most. Don't ask me how.

\- Pick a number from 1 to 9

\- Multiply by 3
...

One day there were three grave robbers searching through a graveyard in Central America

They came across an Ancient Mayan temple which had three doors. the first grave robber walker up to the first door and looked inside, he saw a black pedestal with nothing on it, and in the back of the room there were piles of gold and riches, so he walked in and grabbed a handful of gold, but as he ...

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DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN

Names
===========
If Linda, Kate, Paula and Janice go out for lunch, they will call each other Linda, Kate, Paula and Janice.
If Fred, Luke, Bradley, and Jeff go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Bruno, Scrappy, Peanut-Head and Godzilla.

Eating Out
===========...

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