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Bedsheets Jokes

How do you know if bedsheets made by a reditor is any good?

You check the threads.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A redneck is on his honeymoon about to make love, when his wife says...

"Wait, honey, there's somethin' I need you to know. I'm a virgirn"
"WHAT THE FUCK?" The man shouts, and he punches her in the face, knocks her out. He wraps her in the bedsheets, drags her down the stairs and out the door, throws her into the back of his pickup truck, and drives on over to her da...

The thought of one of my friends catching me playing with my train set is so embarrassing.

So I covered the set up with bedsheets. Nobody will find out now, my tracks are covered

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A salesman knocks on the door and a little boy answers...

he's drinking his father's favorite scotch and smoking a fresh cigar while wearing his mother's favorite bedsheets as a toga.

"Are your parents home?" asked the salesman.

to which the boy replied, "Does it fucking look like it?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old Welshman’s wife storms into his bedroom to find him sitting on the ruffled bed.

“How did this muddy cunt get in here?”, she snapped, holding a sheep in her hands.

The man sat there silently. The bedsheets are sprawled and the room is a mess. He opens his mouth to answer back but she cuts him off.

“Don’t bother! I’ve seen you and the farmer’s wife staring at each o...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man summons his nurse in the recovery room

He pulls her close and asks “Are my testicles black?”
The nurse, is somewhat taken aback but lifts the bedsheets to check, moves some stuff around and says “No.”

A while later the nurse comes back in and is again asked “can you please check and see if my testicles are black?”
Again the ...

"Hey son, come over here!"

"You're getting it all over your bedsheets."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Have you heard about the man who dreamt he was packing his parachute in preparation for a jump?

His wife had to be rushed to the hospital with half of the bedsheets stuffed up her ass.

A Man Is Obsessed With Tractors

A man named John is obsessed with tractors. So obsessed that he has posters of tractors on his wall, tractor toys and even tractor bedsheets.

One day, John meets a woman and they start dating. But the woman is tired of all the tractor related items in Johns home.

Girl: John I really ...

Tractor fan

I once had a friend called Sam. When we were young, Sam had an obsession with tractors. He loved them. He had toy tractors, tractor bedsheets, tractor memorabilia - anything to do with tractors fascinated him.
For his 12th birthday, his mother decided to take him to a tractor convention and Sam w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man wakes in hospital after a car crash missing his penis

After a terrible car crash a man wakes up in hospital to a doctor standing over him.

“Good news and bad news sir. You’re completely fine accept you lost your penis in the crash.”

The man pulls back the bedsheets and the doctor is right, there’s nothing down there at all.

The doc...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two American business men in the 1980s are visiting Tokyo, Japan to make a business deal with an electronics company

Sadly the CEO (Mr. Yamoto) had an unexpected issue to deal with at one of his factories and couldn't see the men that day, but had his COO (Mr. Hagino) not only invite the two Americans to join them for a round of golf the next day to discuss business, but also to show them around and keep them ent...

Joe and his tractors

So there's this guy named Joe. For years Joe loved tractors. He was obsessed with them. He had tractor posters, tractor calendars, tractor bedsheets, tractor wallpaper, tractor simulators. Anyways one day Joe is at the annual tractor convention in LA and he sees the brand new XJ54330 tractor. It's t...

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