Be Awesome Jokes - 17 Hilarious Be Awesome Jokes

Millennial old folks homes are gonna be awesome!

LAN parties, DnD nights, wheelchair races, having awesome songs from the 2000's as our golden oldies! It'll be great, especially if we can line up our work schedules!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I always thought waking up to a blowjob would be awesome.

But thats the last time i fall asleep on a park bench.

My wife said we need to sit down and talk about our future, and I was like 'Yeah gonna be awesome! Flying Cars, Colonies on Mars!, Self fixing robots it's gonna be amazing!!'

Not what she meant, am now single.

TIL that Saudi Arabia has over 130 males for every 100 females in the country

It must be awesome to be a woman in Saudi Arabia!

I think there should be a vote recount.

It’ll be awesome to see Trump lose twice.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A mother baking in Somalia

One day a mother was baking bread in Somalia, when her son thought it would be awesome to play white. So he threw flour all over him and said "Mommy, look! I'm white".

His mother slapped him instantly and said "Go to your father and show him what you've done."
His father slapped him i...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I heard that as a 40 yo. guy, I should have sex on average 53 times a year.

December is gonna be awesome!

What is you’re best taco/ Mexican food pun?

Hey reddit! So currently I work at Taco Bell taking orders in the drive thru. With covid-19 all going around, a lot of people have been more down compared to before. So I’ve been trying to make their days somewhat better. The conversation usually goes like this:
Me: “hi welcome to Taco Bell, how ...

IRL Accidental joke story

IDK where to post this but I figured I'd make some people chuckle before it gets taken down. But if someone in comments could point out a subreddit for funny stories, thanks that'd be awesome.

Was working on a neighbors overhang/pergola and roof (damages, old house). His 4 year old kid was as...

A father is planning a birthday party for his son, who is a huge Phillies fan.

The father recently befriended a sports agent, so he reaches out:

"Hey Mike, my kid's birthday is coming up on the 27th and I wanted to see if you could pull some strings to have someone from the Phillies make an appearance at his party."

"Yeah, I think Shane Victorino is actually gonn...

A man walks into a plastic surgeons office. He asks the doctor "S-s-sir m-m-my d-d-dick i-is t-t-too l-l-l-long."

The doctor replies, "Well how is that?"

So the man says, "W-w-well its s-s-so l-l-long that i-i-it p-p-pulls on my t-t-tongue a-a-and it g-g-gives me t-t-this s-s-stutter m-m-man!"

The doctor replies, "Oh I see, so I can schedule an appointment and were going to take out this part righ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

“I’m Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC, and we’re doing a story on people who solicit teenagers for sex. If you have anything you’d like to add to this conversation, go ahead. Otherwise you’re free to go.”

“Yeah, actually, if you could vote for me in the Alabama senate race that would be awesome.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An American moves to the Scottish Highlands...

An American moves to the Scottish Highlands. After 3 months he gets a knock on his door from one of the local residents.
"So I heard ya just moved here, an' I wanted to tell ya I was throwin' a party. Do ya want to come?"
"Sure," the American replies, "A party would be awesome!"
"But ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two guys named Bob are walking by a nuclear reactor.

Bob starts talking about how his great uncle twice removed worked at a nuclear plant and grew an extra arm.
Other Bob says, "well that would be awesome, I could use an extra arm."
Bob says, "oh, I think it could only happen to me, it's in my genetics."
Other Bob gets mad. "Bullshit, I could...

Reddit, will you share your favorite inside joke with me?

It is very interesting to look at the relationships and intricacies that make an inside joke so funny and sometimes even create a personality of its own. It would be awesome to see all of your stories! I would love to hear why they are funny to you and your friends. How long has the joke been goi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two guys are walking down the street

Two guys are walking down the street when the see a dog laying about in on a porch. As they pass the dog begins to lick his balls and one of the guys turns to the other and says
Guy 1: "See, now i wish i could do that!"
Guy 2: "Really?"
Guy 1: "Oh yea i bet it'd be awesome"
Guy 2: "Well...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Average Day in Heaven

God realizes that Heaven is getting pretty crowded and needs a little time for it to settle down so he can add some additions. He tells St. Peter "Don't let anyone in unless their last day was **really** shitty"

Right after this happens, a man walks up and St. Peter asks him about his last da...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.