UPJOKE
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I went to another country famous for their Pole dancing.

2/10, definitely not worth the trip to Poland.

A man was moving to another country and needed to find a new home for his 15 pet monkeys.

He saw a man driving down the road with a big van and so he shouted after him,

"I'll give you €50 to bring these monkeys to the zoo for me"

The man with the van agreed and left with the monkeys in his van.

A couple of hours go by and while he is on his way to the airport, he see...

It doesn't matter if you're black, white, old, young, tall, short or even if you're from another country. It's what's INSIDE that counts!

I love you refrigerator!

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Bill was a horny man who had just been deployed to a US army post in another country far away from the US.

Bill slept in a room, that had lots of bunk beds, about 15 and it was usually silent at night. You could hear a pin drop. Bill had his urges but he would not surrender, the power of the nut would not defeat him.

Well, eventually it did and one not trying to be as silent as possible he tried t...

What do you call a sick bird from another country?

An ill-eagle.

What do you call a hot chick you meet in another country?

Abroad.

My friend asked me if I wanted to go to another country with him...

I said "Yemen, sounds good"

What do you call a covert assasination mission carried out by North Korea in another country?

A heart attack

The Pope was leaving for a trip to another country...

The Pope was leaving for a trip to another country and a limo arrived by his residence to take him to the airport. Always wanting to, but never having a chance to drive a limousine, the Pope asked the driver if he'd let him drive this time. The driver was taken aback at first, but agreed. The Pop...

My girlfriend tried to sneak leafy greens into another country on our vacation...

...I thought customs was gonna Caeser salad, but they let it romaine.

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World's Unluckiest Man

This man was so unlucky he was born with only a single ball. Where ever he goes doom is with him. He decided to live in another country and books a plane ticket for USA. Mid flight a turbulence started to occur and the Captain starts to announce that the plane is about the crash and there are only 9...

An American student was studying Russian government

An American student was studying Russian government.

Hoping to understand another country’s government in familiar terms, he asked his teacher, “Is the Kremlin more like the White House, the Capitol, the Pentagon, or the Supreme Court?”

The teacher replied, “Yes.”

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There was a businessman whose wife was REALLY into sex.

He was a hardworking guy but still managed to satisfy his wife's needs.

One time he had to leave for another country for a business meet. He would've been gone for a week.
He knew his wife's sex drive and didn't want to take risks so he thought he should gift her something so she can sat...

An elderly Australian woman is visiting her son in the US for his birthday.

She arrives at LAX early in the morning and arranges to drive to his house, in New Orleans, in order to “take in the scenery” and see what the American South has to offer.

She drives at a leisurely pace, and stops at scenic viewpoints whenever possible, knowing she has some time to get to he...

Communist Party centenary live:

**China has never ‘oppressed’ another country and never will, Xi says**

A 6-year-old walks into a bar...

The bartender tells says they don't serve minors as all they have are hard liquors. The child says he wants two whiskies then a malt. The bartender says that he needs to see ID. The child shows an ID from another country, claiming he is 95 years old. The bartender gives the child the ID back and ask...

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Man goes to the same bar every saturday and orders three glass of whiskey...

and after quickly drinking the whiskey, he leaves the bar.

After doing this more than a year, bartender gets curious and asks him:

"If you dont mind me asking, why do you always order three shots?"

"I got me a two brother, mate. We used to get together and order one glass of wh...

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you have two cows

socialism: you will give one cow to neighbour and keep one for yourself

communism: government takes both cows and gives you milk

fascism: government buys both cows; shoots you

democracy: government buys both the cows; shoots one; milk the other and throw the milk away; imports b...

What is it. Red, round and you can't see it.

Tomato in another country.

Found in my Physics text book.

A man lives in a foreign country, and his job is to operate the train that connects one town to another. He is not very good at his job, and he is also very greedy. Since his income does not meet his expenses, he decides to steal from his passengers' fares. At first he steals only a little. However,...

Hey George

George and John are talking and George says he is leaving for another country to work.

''The only only thing i ask from you is to take care my cat and my mother'' he says.

Two months go by and John calls George and says '' your cat is dead''

George is shocked and tells John ''...

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John had a mistress...

John had a mistress from another country. One day his mistress calls and tells John that she booked a flight and was coming to meet him and spend a day there.

John wakes up early in the next morning and tells his wife that his uncle had passed away. He needed to go to the airport and meet s...

I made a (hopefully) original joke!

In 2019, the army had been at war with another country. In order to keep their troops healthy, they needed to monitor the submarine that carried supplies to where the others were located.

But there was a small problem. Every so often, there would be a defect in the submarine's engine that wou...

I was driving down the motorway with my girlfriend

I was driving down the motorway with my girlfriend the other day and she piped up,

"I think those people in the car next to us are from another country"

"why is that?" I said

"Well, the kids are writing on the window and it says, 'stit rey su wohs'"

Celebrity Race-car Driver Lewis Hamilton Walk into a country golf club in England

He sees the woman on reception and enquires about joining the club.

Looking slightly disappoint, the woman at the desk tells Lewis that unfortunately the club has a very old rule which states only white people can become members.

She apologises for the out of date rule but says that ...

An ant is lying in its deathbed in North Korea.

He calls his son and says he wanted to tell him something for a long time.

Son Ant : What is it dad?

Father Ant : I cannot say that in this god forbidden country we have to move immediately to France or Italy before i am dead.

Confused,the Son Ant made arrangements to move to Fr...

Manufacturer closes before Christmas

The town manufacturer moved their operations to another country, to pay lower wages. The people who worked in the town, lost their jobs and were suddenly thrust into poverty.

An entrepreneur heard about this situation. Joseph P Klanta was operating several manufacturing operations. His s...

10 YO MAMA Jokes - Wich one is your favorite?

1) Yo Momma So Fat The Only Letters She Knows In The Alphabet Are K.F.C!
2) Yo mamma so ugly even Bob the Builder said, "We cant fix it."
3) Yo Mamma So Fat, Dora Can't Explore Her.
4) Yo momma so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.
5) Yo mamma so fat...

What paper do you read?

The Wall Street Journal - Read by people who run the country.
The Washington Post - Read by people who THINK they run the country.
The New York Times - Read by people who think they SHOULD be running the country.
The Boston Globe - Read by people whose parents used to run the country, and ...

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I was having a drink at a bar in Amsterdam.

I was having a drink at a bar in Amsterdam when this pretty girl walks up to me and says, "Can I buy you a drink?"


I never pass on a drink so I say sure. We start drinking together and then start talking. We really hit it off. She says she was from another country and here to have a fun t...

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Putin persecutes homosexuals in his own country...

...then goes and enters another country through the back door?

Very mixed messages from Russia.

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Tasteful Palette...

My girlfriend's mother was born and raised in another country, so she cooks a lot of exotic dishes. The first time I ate dinner with my girl's family, her mom prepared a huge pot of soup. Although I couldn't identify the exact contents, its smelled pretty good, and I hadn't eaten all day. Everyone ...

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