Admonished Jokes

“Why should it?” answered her spouse. “I keep telling them it’s for you.”

The Priest scolded him ...

After prayers, the congregation admonished him for interrupting the silence.

His wife lectured him on his carelessness until they got home.

One could see the shame, embarrassment n humiliation on his face !!

*He has never stepped into the Church... read more

"How was your golf game, dear?" asked Jack's wife Tracy.



"Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight's gotten so bad I couldn't see where the ball went."



"But you're seventy-five years old, Jack!" admonished his wife, "Why don't you take my brother Scott along?"... read more

A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school.

Walking co... read more

They were quite a site, seven in a row on one of those seven seater tandem bikes, headed, of course by a Mother Superior. They went over a speed bump. In unison, they all let out an excited "OOOOOOOOOH!' The Mother Superior turned around and looked at them sternly. She admonished the nuns, "Sisters,... read more

Astonished by the price, I asked the clerk:

"Do I get a student discount?"

After his new teacher had spoken for an hour on the importance of following one's inner nature along the path, the man interrupted to say: "I thought the idea was to lose one's desires and attain enlightenment."

"No, no," the teacher admonished. "That was Zen. This is Tao."

One says to the other, "first Emma comes, then I come, then two asses come together, then I come again, then two asses again, then I peepee, and finally I come for the last time."

An old lady looks aghast at the two men and admonished them, "you're in the subway! Behave appropriately!"
... read more

The brunette was dragged, kicking and screaming, to the wall and blindfolded. In desperation, she screamed "TORNADO!". The soldiers, caught by surprise, dropped their guns and covered their heads. The brunette tore off her blindfold and bolted to freedom out of the encampment.

By and by, the ... read more

He *hated* the English. His favorite fire and brimstone line was "...and you'd go to Hell with the English!" He had been admonished by his Bishop more than once about this.

Well, the Bishop was visiting for Holy Week when Father Patrick again assigned the English to the nether regions, and he... read more