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Abba Jokes

What might you catch an ABBA-obsessed assassin doing?

Halving the time of your life.

I just bought an ABBA toilet.

What a loo!

Why did ABBA play monopoly empire?

So that they could take a Chance on ME.

Have you heard of a French ABBA cover band with just 3 members?

They're not any good, completely butcher the songs.

They're called ABBA Trois

Every now and then I'll get ABBA stuck in my head...

And I'll think to myself,
"Mama Mia, here I go again"

I went to a Abba themed bar last night

The toilet was like a maze

What a loo couldn't escape if I wanted to

ABBA songs Ramadan edition

Gimme gimme gimme a naan after midnight

Why do Spanish Teachers hate ending their music playlists with Abba?

They think it is an imperfect ending.

I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing 'Dancing Queen' on it.

I thought, "That's Abbariginal"

I saw a busker playing Dancing Queen on the didgeridoo

I thought that's Abba-riginal.

A Swedish woman, two Swedish men and another Swedish woman...

...walk into ABBA...

I lost my ABBA cd

Where did the disco?

New bathroom

I was shopping for a new bathroom this week, and was shown an amazing toilet that plays ABBA songs when you flush it.

What a loo.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Fred and Barney are standing next to the jukebox,...

Barney says, "Hey, Fred, what do you want to listen to? *Rock* music?"

Fred replies, "You know, Barney, just because we live in the stone age doesn't mean all your puns have to be rock-based. Besides, I have a very eclectic taste in music which better suites my personality."

Barney ret...

What's a neckbeard's favourite ABBA song?

M'ma mia

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] I had a dream that I was getting a blowjob from the blonde one in ABBA

I woke up because his beard was tickling my balls.

What did the dancing queen use to solve her math problems?

An ABBA-cus.

I was walking down the street one day when I heard someone playing Dancing Queen and Mamma Mia on the didgeridoo.

That's Abba-rigonal

Since we seem to be doing Jewish jokes...

An old Jewish man is on his death bead, surrounded by his loving family, and preparing to move into the Olam Habah.
While he's lying there, he smells a delicious smell and immediately recognizes it as his wife's delicious apple pie.
He whispers to his eldest daughter:
"Sarah, my time has a...

Noted archeologist Fred Flintstein made an amazing discovery today in Sweden

He found remains of some primitive musical instrument and a small deposit of fossilized excrement. when asked about what they signified,

Fred Flintstein replied: "A dab o' ABBA doo."

"What an age-appropriate joke for /r/funny"

An old Jewish man is on his deathbed, and his family is gathered around him. He's too weak to lift his head or even open his eyes, but he can talk to his family.


"Rachel, my beloved wife of fifty-seven years. The love of my life, my soulmate, the woman God created me to be with, are you h...

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