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A female class teacher was having a problem with a boy in her 3rd grade class. The boy said, "Madam, I should be in Grade 4. I am smarter than my sister & she's in Grade 4".

The Madam had heard enough and took the boy to the principal. The principal decided to test the boy with some questions from Grade 4.

Principal: What is 3+3?

Boy: 6.

Principal: 6+6.

Boy: 12.

The boy got all the questions right. The principal told the Madam to send ...

A man is in court. The Judges says,"on the 3rd August you are accused of killing your wife by beating her to death with a hammer, how do you plead?"

"Guilty", said the man in the dock. At this point a man at the back of the court stood up and shouted "You dirty rat!" The Judge asked the man to site down and to refrain from making any noise.

The Judge continued "..... and that also on the 17th September you are accused of killing your son ...

3rd times someone's charm

In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a stunningly beautiful young woman was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight black leather mini skirt with matching leather boots and jacket. As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on the bus, she became aware that her skirt was too t...

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2/3rds of people enjoy affairs

The other 1/3 is pissed off she came home early and caught us

Miss Joan asks her 3rd grade students what their parents do for a living

Emily happily raises her hand and say : "Daddy's a mechanic and Mommy is a teacher like you !"

Jason then replies : "Well, my dad is a chef and my mom is her accountant"

And so on, every child answers to their best until it is little Billy's turn, who suddenly bursts into tears.
...

The 3rd child asked her mother

Did you want a daughter or a son when I was born?
Mom angrily:
I wanted neither.
I just wanted a towel from your father while having bath!

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It was a dark and rainy night…..

Our hero’s car had broken down right in front of an old looking mansion.

After knocking, an old Chinese man came to the door. “ I was wondering if it’s at all possible you might have a room for me for the night. I will be out of your hair the next morning and on my way to the service stati...

A guy is talking to a barmaid with an exceptionally large chest...

After an awkward pause the barmaid says "Excuse me sir, my eyes are up here"

The man replies "When you've got something written on your t-shirt, people are going to read it."

The barmaid says "Yes, but you've been staring at my chest for the past minute, what's your problem?"

Th...

What does a Reddit post and a 3rd world baby have in common?

They are both likely to die in new.

For my 3rd wish, I wish for infinite wishes

"Wish granted," says the Genie.

"Really? I thought it was impossible. I wish for infinite riches now." responds the man.

The man waits for a few minutes as nothing happens.

"I thought you said you granted my wish for infinite wishes!"

The Genie smirks and responds "I sa...

There was a bus with 4 seats.

(Sorry for the poor construction of the joke. English is not my first language)

The conductor came in and began checking the tickets of the passengers.

He approached the lady sitting in the first seat. She didn't have a ticket. The conductor fined her 20$ even though the ticket cost 4...

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A boy starts his first day at Walmart.

His trainer says to him "I'll take care of the first 2 customers to show you how it's done and you can look after the 3rd.”

So the trainer goes to the first customer and says "Can I help you, m’am?" Lady goes "I'm looking for some garden hose.”

Trainer "Okay 10, 20 or 30 ft?"

L...

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A man is in the hospital with 3rd degree burns to his legs.

The doctor says to the nurse, "Give him two Viagra." The nurse asks, "How will that help?" The doctor replies, "It will keep the sheets off his legs."

A cowboy finds himself captured by a tribe of Native Americans…

(Oldie, but goodie joke here)…

Anywhooo, the Natives tell the cowboy since he is their enemy they must put him to death. But, as is their custom, they won’t do so until he has spent 3 nights in their camp and each night, they shall grant him a wish.

As the first day, he says “I wish ...

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Zoo keeper says to Paddy. "The gorilla is on heat and we need someone to have sex with it. Would you consider shagging it for £500? Paddy replies.

I will on 3 conditions: 1st, I'm not going to kiss it. 2nd, my family must never know.

3rd i'll need a couple of weeks to get the cash together.

Me : what do you study? She : I'm science Student. Me : Can i ask a question? She : ask. Me : what is Newton's 3rd law?

She : Listen, im a science student not a law student.

For my 3rd cake day I'd like to re-re retell

Resell, retail, retale, resail reset preset presume resume
Assume retell

That my favorite joke is good ol' #788

Earth is 3rd from the Sun

That means all our problems are 3rd world problems

English to become the official European language

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. 

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement an...

The dead dog

A guy brought his dog into the vet. He didn't want to admit and accept the fact his dog died. The vet told the owner the dog is dead. The guy demanded a 2nd opinion. The vet gets a cat. The cat sniffs the dead dog and said "meow". The vet said the cat agrees the dog is dead. The owner demands a 3rd ...

I’m unhappy with prime day

Amazon Prime day is on the 21st. I personally would not partake of Prime day unless it were on the 2nd, 3rd, 5th, 7th, 11th, 13th, 17th, 19th, 23rd, 29th, or 31st

Hopefully it is original. If it’s not, sorry!

3 guys are lost in a particular foreign Village and now the cold night arrived. So they tried to go around houses hoping someone will take them in for the night.

First house: Guy 1– We are lost and we need a place to stay the night. Can you take us in?

Owner(looks at the 3 of them)— ...

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A group of guys walk into a new bar for the first time. The barkeep asks what they will be having tonight. [L]

The first guy orders a whiskey coke. The bartender without hesitation hands the man a chilled apple. The man confused by this asks why he is getting the apple. The bartender insists that he takes a bite out of it.

The man chomps into it and exclaims, “Wow! This tastes just like my favorite wh...

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A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"That's easy, I want to be an asshole!" yells Little Johnny.

The Teacher is shocked with Little Johnny's response and wants to send him to detention, but out of curiosity she let's him continue hoping for an explanation.

Little Johnny continues: -Well, when I'm out on the street with ...

What's the difference between a fall from the 1st floor Vs 3rd floor?

1st floor : "Boom! Aaaargh"

3rd floor : "aaaaargh! Boom!!"

So i banged my 3rd cousin yesterday...

My buddy told me to stop counting them

Ten Surprising facts doctors don't want you to know about subway tracks!

the 3rd one will shock you!

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A man and a wife are in a hotel room on the 3rd, rekindling their love for each other...

It quickly turns into teenage, window fogging, grope fest and they start to fuck like bunnies. After they finish the first round, they notice the room's a little different. The man steps outside and checks around and notices the room across him is 415. "Weird", said the man to himself. "I thought th...

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A woman decides to kill her self

She has had enough. Everyone is seeing her as a object and wants to have sex with her. So she jumps out of the 5th floor.

A man in the 4th floor sees her falling and catches her.

"What do you think you're doing?", he says, "Life is good. We can go to cinema. We can have some Ice Cream...

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Just found out that my old 3rd grade teacher is now doing time in prison for sexually assaulting a student.

I gotta say, he always rubbed me the wrong way.

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I accidentally made out with my 3rd cousin last night

The first two were pretty pissed when they found out.

Smartest president

An airplane was about to crash. There were 4 passengers on board, but only 3 parachutes.

The 1st passenger said, 'I am LeBron James, the best NBA basketball player. The Lakers and my millions of fans need me, and I can't afford to die.' So he took the 1st pack and left the plane.

The 2...

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3 people die and end up in hell...

The first was an alcoholic, the second was a womanizer, the 3rd was a pothead.

Satan spoke: "Your punishment for squandering your lives on addiction is simple. What you valued the most in your life will be provided to you in infinite supply, however, you will remain with only your vice in a l...

Why are strip clubs closed at night on Nov 3rd?

Because that's when the polls close.

3 men went to a theme park

and walked up to a ride that said "magic slide". The 1st man read the sign and went down the slide yelling "gold!" Landed in a pit of gold. 2nd man read the sign, went down the slide yelling "silver!" Landed in a pot of silver. The 3rd man didn't bother reading the sign and just went down the slide ...

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Three Nurses working in a morgue discover a Dead Man with a hard on!

The 1st Nurse says 'I can't let that go to waste', & rides him. The 2nd Nurse does the same. The 3rd Nurse hesitates & explains she is on her period, but does him anyway. Then the Man sits up & the Nurses apologize saying they thought he was dead. The Man replies 'l was, but after two ju...

3 little pigs

A wolf goes to the house of the first pig, which was made of straw. "Come out you pig, or I will huff and puff and blow your straw house down".

The pig stays put and the wolf starts huffing and puffing. Frightened now, the pig sneaks out the back door just as his straw house starts to blow ...

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Don't mess with that mouse

3 mice are sitting together when one starts bragging about how tough he is. He says, "I'm so tough, I go around collecting all the rat poison I can find, then I put it in my coffee and drink it down!". The 2nd mouse laughs and says, "That's nothing! I'm so tough, I go to mouse traps, snatch up the ...

We were learning about energy in 3rd grade...

I raised my hand curiously and the teacher called on me and I asked “What energy do lights use?” She looked at me hesitantly, as if I asked about a forbidden knowledge, questioning what she should respond with and said “I would tell you but the answer is very shocking.” Frustrated with the answer, ...

3 women meet for brunch after a wild night...

1st woman says "girls I got so drunk last night, I went home and blew chunks".

2nd woman says "you think that's bad? After I dropped you two off, I drove home. I was so hammered I ended up driving through my garage door and kept going. Destroyed my garage, my husband says it's going to cost 5...

Waiting on God

There once was an old lady, with 3 grown sons, who was losing her house. She told them, "Don't worry, boys, I've been praying and the Lord will come through for me!"

The next day, one son wins the lottery. She's happy for him, but she won't accept any money to save the house. She says, "I'm...

Is there a 4th of July in the UK?

Yeah… right after the 3rd of July.

What do you call a guy who jumps off the 3rd floor balcony into the pool and misses?

An ambulance

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There was a man who had 3 girlfriends, but he did not know which one to marry. So he decided to give each one $5000 and see how each of them spent it.

The first 1 went out and got a total makeover with the money. She got new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells the man, "I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much."
The 2nd one went out and bought new golf clubs, a Dvd player, a televis...

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When i was a kid this was my favorite joke don't hate me pls i changed.

I want to first apologise for my english in case i over complicate the joke it's my 3rd language and i have to translate it from my native language ^^

Well so it starts in a restaurant. A tall lady with weird long grey hair shows up with her huge bag and asks for a place for 2, so the waiter ...

Little Suzy had 13 children.

Her husband died and she remarried and had 10 more children.

That husband died and she remarried and had 8 more children.

It was finally time for Suzy to pass away and the preacher was standing at her casket amd said "it's great! they'll finally be together".

One guy says "I w...

< Healing >



A guy in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked
the waitress for a cup of coffee. The guy looked across the
restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?" The waitress
nodded "yes," so the guy requested that she give Jesus a cup of
coffee...

Glass eye

A guy just exited a high rise hotel on the beach and he's walking along the sand and boom something hits his foot. After further examination he sees that it's a glass eye. He immediately looks up and there's a beautiful woman on the 3rd floor looking over the balcony and he shout's "is this your gla...

So I banged my 3rd cousin the other day

I'm really surprised how I even managed to bang more than two of my cousins

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Elizabeth Taylor goes in to get her vagina reconditioned.

Elizabeth : Dr. I want to have the vagina of an 18 year old.

Dr. : Ok that can be done.

Elizabeth: Ok but please, ABSOLUTELY NO PAPARAZZI or MEDIA involvement!

Dr. : Of course, it will be completely confidential.


The surgery occurs with no complications. in f...

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My mom caught me making out with my 3rd cousin and she’s pissed...

I don’t know why though, she didn’t care about the first two.

Last night, a thief stole the flight of stairs I need to climb to get into my 3rd floor apartment.

That's messed up on so many levels!

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A man with no arms and no legs sits at the beach pondering his lonely life

3 beautiful women walk by and the first woman taking pity on the man walks up and asks "Have you ever been hugged before?"

"No" says the man. So she hugs him and walks on.

The 2nd woman also taking pity on the man, walks up and asks "Have you ever been kissed before?"

"No" the m...

A 3rd grade class goes to the swimming pool... (/r/AskReddit comments section liked it and I was told that you might like it, too)

*It's a joke I know in french. So I tried to translate it and did some improvments since my first comment, too:*

A 3rd grade class goes to the swimming pool.

The lifeguard asks to the class: "Does any one of you already know how to swim?"

Then the little Dimitri, all excited, an...

Poor women

An elderly woman was cleaning out her attic one day. She come across an old lamp that she hadn't seen before. Start cleaning it to see what it is.
A genie pops out and says for setting me free I'm going to Grant you three wishes.
The woman thought about it for a while and said I have made my d...

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A 3rd grade teacher...

Prepares her 9 year olds for a writing class.

Teacher: “class we will be learning how to write without lifting your pencil off the paper!”

Little Johnny: “I know how to do that!”

Teacher: “You know how to write without lifting off the page!”

Little Johnny : “Yes ma’am t...

Pigmy kids bragging

Most kids brag about how tall their fathers are, but pigmy kids brag about how small their fathers are.

One day three kids are playing when one says, "My dad's only 3'1"."

2nd kid says, "That's nothing. My dad's 2'11"."

The 3rd kid was quiet so they asked, How tall is your dad?...

Four worms were placed in four separate test tubes: 1st in beer 2nd in wine 3rd in whiskey 4th in mineral water The next day, the teacher shows the results: The 1st worm in beer, dead. The 2nd in wine, dead. The 3rd in whiskey, dead. The 4th in mineral water, alive and healthy.

The teacher asks the class:
- What do we learn from this experience?

And a child responds:
- Whoever drinks beer, wine and whiskey
does not have worms.

I am a proud anti-vaccine Father of 3.

Edit- Two Now

2nd Edit- One Now

3rd Edit- Nevermind

4th Edit- WOW this really blew up. I would like to dedicate all these wonderful awards to my 3 children Byeson, Dieanne, and Ammunity. They would have been so proud. RIP

A friend came over visibly shaken. He said he had just slept with his 3rd cousin...

I told him, if it upsets you that much quit counting them

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first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her more precocious students. The teacher asked, “Harry, what exactly is your problem?”

Harry answered, “I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she! I think I should be in the 3rd grade, too!”
Ms. Brooks finally had enough; she took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the situa...

One from 3rd Grade: What's the name of the funniest mountain range?

The Himhilarious

A joke one of my 3rd graders claims to have made up

Q: Why do Gorillas have big nostrils?

A: Because they have big fingers!

A Racy Joke?

A group of 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to Churchill Downs to see and learn about thoroughbred horses. When it was time to take the children to the bathroom, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the...

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A teacher is explaining biology to her 3rd grade students.

She explains that humans are the only animals that can stutter.

A little girl in the back raises her hand and says "No ma'am I had a cat who stuttered."

The teacher knowing how precious these stories could be asked her to explain.

The little girl stands up and says " Well we ha...

I live in constant fear that Trump will deport my Latina mother-in-law who lives at 324 3rd st. Los Angeles.

She gets off at 6.

I'm not worried about getting drafted in the 3rd World War

I'll just send them my resume and I won't hear back from them as is usual.

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3 men die and go to Heaven

3 men die and go to Heaven. St Peter meets them and starts reviewing their files.

He starts talking to the first guy: “I see that you lived a good life, but you cheated on your wife 30 times. That’s not very good, but not bad enough to send you to hell. So you can stay in heaven, but you’ll h...

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3 nuns are at the bar together, having some drinks, bullshitting

1st nun says, “Hey guys, I’m so loose, I can get an entire fist up there.”

2nd nun takes a shot, says, “That’s nothing! I’m so loose, I can get *two* whole fists up there and still have room to clap.”

Well they both look at the 3rd nun who says nothing, but starts sliding down the bar ...

A pirate stole 1/3rd of my art

Ar

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My mates son got chucked out of school today for letting a girl wank him off in class. That's the 3rd school this year.

Maybe teaching's not for him.

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[Nsfw] Man walks into bar and orders a rum a coke.

Bartender gives him an apple
Man gives him a surprised look and says "I ordered a rum and coke!"
Bartender says "just take a bite"
Man bites it and says "This tastes like rum."
Bartender say "now turn it around."
Man turns it and take a bite "Wow, this tastes like coke. This is amazin...

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I don't get what's so hard about No Nut November

It's the 3rd day and I haven't eaten any nuts yet. I just distract myself by constantly masturbating all day.

A man always works 3rd shift in construction

A man always works 3rd shift in construction. He comes home around 3AM, climbs 3 floors to his apartment and gets in, tired from work. Due to habit he slams his left boot, then his right to get the mud and dust off. Then he carefully removes the boots, changes and falls asleep tired. Unfortunately t...

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Little Timmy was in 3rd Grade

One day he went to class and as soon as he sat down, his teacher walked up to him and slammed a test on his desk. “You’re an absolute failure!” she yelled at him. Little Timmy was devastated, he’d never been yelled at like this before, but he bottled up his emotions and did his work. The class ended...

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I told my therapist that I’m afraid of the 15th, 9th, and 3rd letter of the alphabet.

“Oh, I see”

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A Man Suffered from a 3rd degree burn in his face...

So his Wife donated a piece of her butt skin for surgery. After that He got his cheeks again and Asked his Wife how he can repay her ever again. She said dear when I see your mother and sisters kissing my Ass It well be more that enough of a reward.

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Genie: "And what will your 3rd wish be?"

Me: slamming down my fork after my second piece of cheesecake. "TAKE A WILD FUCKING GUESS."

3rd grade math

If you have 7 apples in one hand, and 5 in the other, what do you have?

-Really large hands.

The Three Wishes

A woman gets three wishes, BUT, says the Genie, for everything you wish, your husband will be granted your wish times 1000. She says, “I would like to be beautiful.” The Genie grants her wish, and says, you are beautiful, but your husband is the most handsome man alive. She says, “I would like to be...

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There was this construction worker on the 3rd floor

There was this construction worker on the 3rd floor of this unfinished building. He needed a hand saw, but was too lazy to go down and get it himself, so he tried to call his fellow worker on the ground to get it for him, but this guy could not hear a word he said. So he started to give a sign so th...

Have you seen the movie, "Constipation?"

Of course not, it won't be out for a while.

Btw, I am a teacher and a 3rd grader told me that today.

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There was a guy leaving Las Vegas and needed a taxi ride to the airport..

There was a line of taxis outside the casino, waiting for customers. Unfortunately for the man he lost all of his money gambling. He approached the first taxi, he asked the fella for a ride and promised him to pay him $5,000 the next time he visited Vegas (since he usually wins big when he is there)...

A man walks into a bar.

Sitting down next to a second man, he orders an eye-watering combination of milk curdled with lemon juice mixed with their cheapest whiskey and run.

The second man is taken aback and says that's what he is drinking too!

"You must be a serial killer to like that kind of drink" the first...

How the fight started

For our 3rd Anniversary, GF wanted me to bring her to a restaurant where they prepare the food in front of you using the freshest ingredients based on your selection.


I brought her to the new Subway in town and that’s how the fight started.

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People told me fucking 3rd cousins is acceptable.

One more to go :D

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A 3rd grader black boy came home from a all white school and asked his mother....

Mom we had gym class today and took showers. My penis was the biggest of all the boys in class. Is it because I'm black?

No honey, it's because you're 19.

My friend just came to me all depressed because his kid’s failing 3rd grade, and he doesn’t know how to break it to him.

Apparently “slowly” wasn’t the advice he was looking for.

What Covid-19 has taught me....

America is a 3rd world country wearing a Gucci belt.

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[NSFW] A Doctor, a lawyer, a priest, and a class of 3rd graders are on a plane that's going down....

....The plane has 3 parachutes.

The doctor, ever the example of selflessness, says "Give the children the parachutes! They are the future!"

The lawyer looks over and responds "Fuck the children!"

The priest, looking from the lawyer to the kids, responds and yells to the lawyer ...

3 Irishmen and 3 Englishmen are buying train tickets

The Englishmen all buy a seperate ticket, 3 in total. The Irishmen however buy only one ticket for the three of them.

One of the Englishmen asks: "Won't you guys get thrown off the train?"

"You'll see," say the Irish.

After riding the train for half an hour, the six men see the ...

At the 3rd grade violin rehearsal ...

... Donnie Corleone Jr. walks in, opens his violin case and unveils, to the shock of all, a tommy gun. The teachers are livid, panic nearly ensues, but Donnie just starts laughing uncontrollably.

"What's wrong with you? This is serious! Why are you laughing?"

"Because I just imagined d...

my friend bought tickets for the super bowl Llll on February 3rd 2019 in Atlanta not realizing that it is also the day of his marriage. so if someone is interested

The church is in Rochester, the womens name is Clarissa

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Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?

Me: Because of the-

Car driving by: HONK

Me: Because if the-

2nd car driving by: HONK

Me:

Cop:

Me: Because of the-

3rd car driving by:HOOONK

Me: Because of the “Honk if you think cops have micropenises’’ bumper sticker?

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There are 2 friends and went to their 3rd mutual friend to pay him a visit at his place. He offered them what they want to drink and all of them start drinking some white wine with some antipasto. After a while the host and his wife realized that the 2 friends drank more than 5 liters of the wine,

and thought if they keep going like that they are going to drink all their wine, so they decided to give them white vinaigrette instead. They gave them a bottle, both friends are trying the 'new wine' and the one says nothing, the other one spit the vinaigrette and says to the other: bro don't you s...

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A woman was having an affair.

One rainy day she was in bed with her BF when she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway.

Woman: 'OMG - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window'.

BF: It's raining out there!'

Woman: 'If my husband catches us, he'll kill us!.

BF jumps out of the window!...

A crow sits on a telephone pole, doing nothing - looking stupid

A crow is sitting on a telephone pole when his mate, another crow arrives.

Crow#2 asks his friend: "Hey buddy, what are you doing?"

Crow#1: "Nothing really, just sitting here and looking stupid"

Crow#2: "Sounds cool, I wanna try that, too!"

An hour later a 3rd crow arrive...

Observation

A lecturer teaching medicine was tutoring a class on 'Observation'. He took out a jar of yellow-colored liquid. "This", he explained, "is urine. To be a doctor, you have to be observant to color, smell, sight, and taste."

After saying this, he dipped his finger into the jar and put it into hi...

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It's the first day of 3rd grade...

Their teacher wanted them to behave more grown up since they were no longer in second grade.

As such, the teacher told them to use grownup words instead of baby words. She then asked them to tell her what they did during the summer.

Susie went first and said she went to see her Nana....

I used to pee my pants every time i had to talk in front of my 3rd grade class

It really killed my teaching career.

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Good joke I was once told

3 men are captured by a tribe in the jungle the leader of the tribe tells them that they have trespassed on sacred land and they must die. Once they are dead the tribe leader says that he will use their skin to make canoes. They are told however that they can choose how they die. The first man asks ...

Three men die and appear before Buddha...

Stunned by the divine presence before them, they lower their heads.

\-Raise your heads. You were humble in life and your deeds were praiseworthy. You have earned the right to a reincarnation of your choice. You have much to accomplish yet though.

One of the people takes a step forwa...

I once knocked a kid out on our 3rd grade class trip

so now I’m no longer allowed to chaperone.

Why does it take longer to get from 2nd base to 3rd base than it does to get from 3rd base to home?

Because there is a short-stop between...

Did you hear the one about the guy who kissed his 3rd cousin?

He stopped counting

“Dad, can I have a glass of water?”

Son: “Dad can you get me some water?”

Dad: “Ok son”

Son: “ Can I have another?”

Dad: “Why?”

Son: “I need it”

Dad: “Fine son”

Son: “Can I have another?”

Dad: “Son why do you keep asking? That’s your 3rd glass”

Son: “Well, my room is still on fir...

UK politician Boris Johnson has promised to lie in front of bulldozers clearing a path for the 3rd Heathrow runway.

This should be no problem for him as he has already had plenty of practice lying in front of a bus!

(Credits to /u/canalavity and /u/chrisjd)

What is a Latino's 3rd favourite dinosaur?

*Terceratops*

A child and his father were going to ride their bikes.

Child: \*wearing a beanie

Father: When you are going to ride your bike, you should always wear a helmet

Child: Don't worry dad, this is better. I already tested it.

Father: How?

Child: I threw them both out of the 3rd floor window. The helmet broke.

Having a 3rd chromosome....

Is a real downer.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

1st old man says "I wish I could pee with no problems", 2nd old man says "I wish I could poop easily", 3rd old man says "I easily do both by 10am...."

".... problem is, I don't wake up til noon"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A class of 3rd graders return from their field trip to the farm and the teacher asks them, "what kind of noises did you hear at the farm?"

The first kid raises his hand and says, "I heard the cow go moo!"

The second kid raises his hand and says, "I heard the pig go oink!"

The third kid raises his hand and says, "I heard the farmer yell 'get off my tractor you little fucker!'"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3rd Rose

A sexually active middle aged woman informed her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because, over the years they had become loose and floppy.

Out of embarrassment, she insisted that the surgery be kept secret and of course the surgeon agreed.

Awakening f...

It wasn't until their 3rd child, after birthing two sons, that Bill and Lonnie finally had a baby girl.

Bill willingly allowed Lonnie to have the right to name their little girl. Bill, of course named both the boys. Blake and Bryan.

After some long contemplating Lonnie decided to name her baby girl Love. Bill thought this seemed a bit odd of a name, but didn't want to cause a commotion over it...

Some people say that Nintendo has no 3rd party games...

They have obviously never heard of Mario Party 3

Electron joke

Why did the electron went up to the 3rd shell?



It was Bohrd

My 3 sons placed 1st, 2nd and 3rd in a talent contest judged by Lee Kun-hee

Jake juggled, Daniel danced and Sam sung

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In an 3rd grade American class room...

The teacher is discussing U.S. presidents.

"Who gave the Gettysburg Address?" she asked the class.

Immediately a hand shot up belonging to a female Japanese foreign exchange student.

"Yes?" the teacher asked.

"Abraham Lincoln! 1863!" replied the girl proudly.

"That...

An American politician attends a football game...

This was last season so the stadium was packed with fans, completely sold out. He's minding his own business, enjoying the game when, during the 2nd Quarter, he hears someone in a nearby section shouting, "Steve! Hey, Steve!"

The politician stands up, looks around, but doesn't see anyone he ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My 3rd and 5th child have innie belly buttons. My first born has an outie.

I guess he’s the odd one out.

What is an example of redneck social distancing?

Sleeping with your 3rd cousin instead of your 1st.

Why is every 3rd pool in Germany empty?

Eins
Zwei
Drei

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