2m Jokes

Company from Kentucky proposes a bid for $1M. Says $600K for labor, $300K for material and $100K profit.

Company from Ohio proposes a bid for $2M. Says $1.2M for labor, $600K for material and $200K profit.

Company from Chicago proposes a bid for $5M with no explanation or breakdown o... read more

The sign says “White River 2M” and “White River 2M”. Confused by the sign, he finds a local and asks,

“What difference does it make if I take the left or the right?”

The Vermonter says, “Not to me it don’t.”

"You hear the restrictions are lifting up from 2m?"

His mate replies: "Finally we can go back to the usual 5m."

Trump wants to repaint White House, he asks for quotations:

Mexican quoted $3M
American quoted $7M
Filipino quoted $10M

Trump asked the Mexican: How did you quoted 3M?
He replied: 1M for paint, 1M for labor & 1M profit.

Trump asked the American.
He replied: 3M fo... read more

Woolworths > 1 - Container of hand sanitiser, 1 - 500g pack of rice, 1 - Ppack of toilet paper;

Coles > 1- pack of toilet paper, 1 - Container of hand sanitiser, 1 - Can of beans;

Aldi > 1 - MIG welder, 1 - Ladies sports bra, 1 - 2m tall garden trellis

So he brings 3 architects, a Chinese, an American and an Iranian. The Chinese architect says I charge 3 Millions, 1.5M for material, 1M for workers and 0.5M as my salary.

He goes to the next one. The American architect says I charge 6 Millions, 3M for material, 2M for workers and 1M as my sal... read more

He calls over a waitress and tells her to send the woman the bar's most expensive champagne.

The woman looks over the champagne then brings it to the man saying, "I can not accept anything from a man unless he has a Mercedes in his garage, $1M in the bank and 7 inches in his pants."

Th... read more