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Winfrey Jokes

What's the best thing about an Oprah Winfrey joke?

You get the joke! You get the joke! You all get the joke!

What do you call a depressed Oprah Winfrey?

Mope-rah.

Oprah Winfrey goes to the doctor for a physical...

...she walks into the doctor's office and sits down on the waiting table. The doctor comes in and says,

"Welcome back Oprah! First, I need you to take your clothes off."

She takes off her clothes and sits back down on the table. The doctor then says,

"Now I'm going to need you t...

So there were 4 people on a private jet

Oprah Winfrey, Donald trump, Barack obama, and this little girl.

In the middle of there flight, the engine shuts down and and there going to crash.

So Oprah Winfrey says “the world needs me” and grabs a parachute and jumps off.

Then Donald trump grabs a parachute and jumps off ...

Oprah should marry Deepak Chopra.

then his name would be Deepak Winfrey.

I realized that Oprah is one of the few celebrities to live up to her name.

Because her audience members Winfrey stuff.

***I reposted because of typo in title.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hosi pappa and sex

When Hosi pappa was 97, he was interviewed by Oprah Winfrey.

Oprah: "Mr. Hosi, how do you carry so much energy with you? You are always working, and at your age, I think that's remarkable."

Hosi pappa: "I just take good care of myself and enjoy whatever I do, plus as a Parsi we live ve...

The Pope Was Heading to the Airport...

The limo driver picks him up 15 minutes late from the Vatican. They're driving along and it's rush hour and the driver is just taking his good ol' time. The Pope, in a fit of fury yells "GET IN THE BACK, I'M DRIVING." The Pope starts driving and is doing over a hundred miles per hour while swerving...

New Computer Viruses

The George Bush Virus - Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction.

The John Kerry Virus - Stores data on both sides of the disk and causes little purple hearts to appear on screen.

The Clinton Virus - Gives you a permanent Hard Drive with NO memory.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Celebrity Computer Viruses

Monica Lewinsky virus: Sucks all the memory out of your computer.

Ronald Reagan virus: Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

Mike Tyson virus: Quits after one byte.

Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB.<...

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