DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?


DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?


MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????


DAD: No, it was with a knife...

If Reese Witherspoon married Bill Withers

...she'd have to give up the poon.

What would be Reese Witherspoon's credits name if she starred in Matrix?

"Reese Wither", because there is no spoon.

Gary Oldman and Reese Witherspoon are starring in a movie about food.

The title is "Old man, with a spoon."

A guy was watching the news and realized a famous celebrity had died. He called a friend to share the news.

Jim: Did you hear that Reece Whats-her-Name died? She choked to death while eating soup...

Joe: Oh no! Witherspoon??

Jim: Yes, of course.

[A cinema ticket office attendant told me this] Q. How does Reese eat ice cream?

A. Witherspoon

Two workers at TMZ are talking...

‘Did you guys hear about the actress who got stabbed?’
‘No, what happened?’
‘Reese…’
‘Witherspoon?’
‘No with a knife.’

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Allison was bragging to her boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."

Tired of her, boasting, her boss called her bluff, "OK, Allison, how about Reese Witherspoon?"

"No dramas boss, Reese and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Allison and her boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Reese Witherspoon's door, and Reese Witherspoo shouts,

"Allison! W...

“Did you hear about that Hollywood actress who was stabbed?”

“What was her name again?? Reece something...”

“Witherspoon?”

“No, with a knife!”

Did you hear about the actress tho got stabbed?

A girl asked her mum, "Did you hear about the actress tho got stabbed?"

The mum replied "no who?"

The girl said "Reese something"

The mum said " Witherspoon??"

The girl responded "Nah with a knife"

The cashier got my wife with this at the store just now then she got me at home with it. It only works verbally, but I wanted to share.

Cashier: Did you hear about the famous actress that stabbed her husband today?

wife: No who?

Cashier: Reese...um...

Wife: Witherspoon?

Cashier: No, with her knife!

Did you see the news?

Tim: John did you see the news yesterday?

John: No shy?

Tim: an actress was killed! She got stabbed to death. Her name was um reese?

John: Witherspoon?

Tim: no with a knife John

Some blonde chick was in my house holding something the other day...

...turns out it was just Reese Witherspoon

I was driving out of the hospital parking ramp...

And I stopped to pay the attendant, an older man.

While he was getting change he casually said “you hear about the actress that was stabbed earlier today?”

I’m like “No! That’s terrible! Who was it?!?”

“Reese... umm... uhhh....”

“Witherspoon?!?”

“NO WITH A KNIFE!!!...

A man came up to me at work and asked if I had heard of the Actress that was killed..

I said “Who?”

“Reese!”

“Witherspoon?”

“Actually, with her knife”

Day = Made

True story, happened to me today.

I asked my co-worker if she saw that article in the news about that actress, Reece.

She said no.

I said, "Apparently someone came up and stabbed her in a restaurant, that actress, uh, Reece Whatshername."

"*Witherspoon*??"

"No, I think they used a knife."

Did you hear about that Reese lady?

Guy 1: Hey, did you here about that celebrity that stabbed some poor guy to death? What was her name, Reese... Reese Wither... Wither...

Guy 2: Witherspoon?

Guy 1: No, with her knife.

Classic that I haven't seen for awhile

Did you hear that actress from Legally Blonde was stabbed?

Me: Yeah. She was stabbed in California, in broad day light. The one from legally blonde. Reese....Something.... with-er... um...with-uh... ..ummm...

Friend: Witherspoon?

Me: No. With a knife.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Anybody read the paper this morning

Person one: "Hey, did you read the news this morning?"
Person two: "No, why?"
Person one: "omg it was crazy, this famous actress stabbed her housekeeper like 50 times!"
Person two: "holy shit, what was her name?"
Person one: "uhh, it was like Reese something, umm Reese..."
Person two:...

Did any one hear that a famous actress was recently stabbed while eating dinner at a restaurant in Hollywood? Her name was Reese. .....?

If you were thinking Witherspoon you're wrong it was Withherknife.

Did you hear about that celebrity who committed suicide? Reese whatsername?

"Witherspoon?"

"No, with a knife!"

Only really works if you actually tell it to someone (and can maintain a good pokerface)

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