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Whip It Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Religion is like a penis.

It’s fine to have one. It’s fine to be proud of it. But please don’t whip it out in public and start waving it around.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A knife is like a penis…

It’s not about how big it is, it’s about how effective you are at making someone regret their decisions when you whip it out.

I’m always playing with it. I always have it in my hand. I pull it out at family parties or hanging out with friends. I’ve been known to just whip it out in public, at the park, at the playground.

I’m talking about my phone, you sicko!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A football coach noticed that his star tackle, Bubba, had so many women hanging around that he couldn’t possibly handle all of them. So one day he asked, "Bubba, just what the hell is your secret?"

Bubba replies, "Well Coach, whenever I’m about to have sex, I always whip it
out and bang it on the dresser like a hammer. This numbs it and I can screw
'em forever!"

The coach went home early one day, and went to the bedroom. He heard his wife
in the shower. Seeing a window of oppor...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The rules for religions and penises are the same.

It's okay to have one, and it's okay to be proud of it, but don't whip it out in public and don't shove it down children's throats.

What do a cowboy, chef, and a dom all have in common?

They must whip it, whip it good.

My doctor said it's normal to get an erection during a prostate exam

But I would still prefer it if he didn't whip it out in the middle of our appointment.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A redneck girl asks her dad for twenty bucks to go to the movies.

"Alright," he father says, "But you gotta suck my dick."

She refuses, but later decides she really wants to see the new Brad Pitt movie. So she goes back and tells her dad to whip it out.

As soon as she wraps her mouth around it, she pulls away and nearly pukes.

"That tastes l...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man informs his wife 'Tomorrow morning at 5am you me and the dog are going fishing...'

'Fuck that,' she says, 'you know tomorrow is my day to sleep in. There's no way I'll be on your leaky boat tomorrow!'
The husband, accepting this, insists: 'Well then you will have to compensate me then. Oral or anal right now.'
The wife, happy to acquiesce, gets down onto her knees saying 'Or...

Great things come in small packages

Is what i say everytime before i whip it out.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man wakes his wife up and says...

"Today is my birthday. You, me and the dog are going fishing."

To this the wife replies, "There is no way I am going fishing with you and the dog."

Once again the man insists that it is his birthday and he wants to go fishing with her and the dog. And once again the wife refuses to g...

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