After months of patience and persistence I finally have a nice body.

It fits perfectly in my trunk.

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Two women were playing golf

The first woman teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.

The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.

The woman rushed dow...

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An entomologist is talking to his friend

The friend, who’s always been fascinated by ants, asks the entomologist how they reproduce.

The entomologist says, “Ants have an aedeagus which they use to mate. It secretes the sperm which fertilizes a female ant’s eggs.”

“So, it’s a penis?” The friend says.

“Well, not *exactl...

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What is persistence?

Fucking a dead woman until she comes.

Back when I was in high school, I worked at a grocery store as a stockboy.

One of the "long time fixtures" there was a homeless guy who would sit outside and ask for change. He was there every day, from opening of the store until closing, without fail.

Several months after I started, the owner decided to go in a new direction with the store and wanted to increase wo...

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A teenager was standing in front of a recruiter, about to sign his life away to the Marines.

The recruiter promised him adventure and action, and the teenager was buying it all up. He finished his training (Semper Fi!) and was immediately given his first posting: he was going to Afghanistan. Being an FNG, the Devil Dog worked long and worked hard, but by the end of his tour, he felt he had ...

Mt. Rushmore wasn't built in a day.

A girl recently told me that she was impressed with my persistence. I replied with, "Mt. Rushmore wasn't built in a day. I'll chip away until you have something disappointing and smaller than imagined."

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Once upon a time...

A man was driving through a rural countryside when his car got a flat. The only building within miles was a monestary. He walked up the steps, knocked on the huge wooden doors, and explained his situation to the monks. The monks were more than helpful. They sent a message to the nearest road station...

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[NSFW] What's the difference between a sex doll and a store mannequin?

Persistence.

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[NSFW] A man goes to see the doctor

He approaches the receptionist and asks her:

"Is your work covered by my insurance"

The receptionist checks the paperwork and tells him:
"Oh yea sir. Your insurance will cover this. No problem"

He is seated in the waiting room and waits until the receptionist asks him to co...

My dad tells this joke all the time. kind of long. enjoy

One day a young man with no arms walked into a church and told the pastor that he always wanted to be a bell ringer. The pastor looked at him and said, “my son, you have no arms to pull the rope and the bell tower is very high.” The young man pleaded with the pastor to give him a chance. Finally the...

When Dr. Samuel Johnson had finished his first English dictionary, he was visited by a delegation of "London's Respectable Womanhood" who came to his parlor at Fleet St. and said, "Doctor, we congratulate you on your decision to exclude all indecent words from your dictionary." And he said...

"Ladies, I congratulate you on your persistence in looking them up."

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