Tv Remote Jokes - 21 Hilarious Tv Remote Jokes

My parents have 4 TV remotes and I’m trying to figure out what they do.

I’m remote learning.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My TV remote just suddenly stopped working the other day.

I guess I must have really pressed its buttons.

What's the difference between a G-spot and a TV remote?

Men will actually search for a TV remote.

Why does the proctologist keep buying new TV remotes?

Digging through the couch just feels like work.

Where did all the TV remotes go when you can't find them?

To a remote island...

I’ve noticed my wife gets very aggressive about controlling the TV remote at the same time each month.

It’s nothing but period drama.

How do you fight off four burglars with nothing but a TV remote?

Please respond quickly!

My dog just chewed up a TV remote

And he is not even remotely sorry

I named my TV remote Waldo.

For obvious reasons.

My dad is like a tv remote

When I find him he's always dirty from the places he's been, doesn't work, and is gone again the next morning.

The man who invented the TV remote control died...

He's going to be buried between two couch cushions.

One stop solution

What to do when your TV remote is not working or you are having relationship problems or you are feeling lonely?

Beat it.

Two friends met at the neighborhood supermarket.

When they got to the checkout one of the ladies started rummaging through her purse for her wallet, she took out a few things, including a TV remote.

“Do you always take the remote with you when you go shopping?” The other woman laughed.

“No,” the woman answered “But I asked my husband...

Mrs. Smartt was fumbling in her purse for her offering when a large television remote fell out and clattered into the aisle.

The curious usher bent over to retrieve it for her and whispered, “Do you always carry your TV remote to church?”

“No,” she replied, “but my husband refused to come with me this morning, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.”

A son goes up to his dad one morning

He says”I’m starting a search service!” His dad, impressed, goes “That’s a great idea! Just look how well companies like Google and Bing are doing!” The son replies “Oh no dad, not that type of search engine. I’ll find things around the house for you. For example, five dollars, I’ll find your readin...

I'll never forget my dad's last words.

"Honey, give me the TV remote."

Women and seduction: how (not) to

Three friends meet and start chatting about their love life. The first woman has a lover, the second one is engaged and the third one is married. They agree to try a new seduction tecnique with their men so everyone, that night, is going to wear a lether black corset, 6 inches high heels and a mask ...

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One night, after a couple had retired for the night

the woman became aware that her husband was touching her in a most unusual manner.
He started by running his hand across her shoulders and the small of her
back. He ran his hand over her breasts, touching them very lightly.

Then, he proceeded to run his hand gently down her ...

The worst moment in a child's life....

"Mum, the TV remote needs new batteries. Where can I find some?"

"Check the top drawer in my bedroom, there should be some in there."

[LONG] The life of an old man.

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the table that I collected from the letter box earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Gym (at 40) - Try and read this without laughing out loud!

Dear Diary

For my fortieth birthday this year, my wife (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.

Although I am still in great shape since playing football 24 yrs ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

Called ...

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