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Tolkien Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.

They're the Tolkien white guys.

Edit: Apparently somebody posted this joke to Twitter in October and that makes me a piece of shit.

¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯

My girl keeps having disturbed dreams, shouting things like "Hobbit!", "Gandalf!", and "Mordor!".

Always Tolkien in her sleep...

My wife woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy.

She’s Tolkien in her sleep.

The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.

They're the Tolkien white guys.









Edit: Swigity Swoo, I got a silver from you?

Edit: Golly Gee, a gold for me?

Edit: Boo hoo, a baby snoo too?

Edit: Cowabunga Grift, I got a coin gift!

Edit: Beagle pup, here comes a bless up!

A Little Known Fact About the Works of J.R.R Tolkien

For his Eleventy-first birthday, instead of fireworks, Bilbo initially asked Gandalf if he could bring the band that plays Dream Police to perform a concert at the party.

This enraged Gandalf however, as Bilbo Baggins took him for some conjurer of Cheap Trick.

Tolkien may have had a wife and children

but he also made a good batch o' lore

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

TIL, in the original draft of Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King, JRR Tolkien wrote that Bilbo Baggins died while having sex with a dwarf prostitute…

Apparently old hobbits die hard.

Why Bilbo had to be Male

Fun fact: Bilbo Baggins had to be a male in order for the plot of The Hobbit to work. If he was instead female, everything would have fallen apart in the goblin cave. Bilbo would have gone off wandering around in the dark and dreary caverns, found the ring, and seen Gollum fishing like in the origin...

What time did Tolkien finish Lord of the Rings?

At elven o'clock.

A new fighting game based off of the works of Tolkien came out

It’s called Mordor Kombat.

Arthur C Clarke, CS Lewis & JRR Tolkien walk into a bar...

Clarke, Lewis and Tolkien walk into a bar arguing about how characters should travel.

Clarke says they should take a spaceship and Tolkien says they should walk. Lewis says that can just step through a wardrobe.

When asked how that's possible Lewis says "Narnia business"

What do you call a Tolkien tree creature that bears a certain type of fall fruit?

I don’t know either, but it should be A Pear Ent.

Did you hear? Copies of The Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, and The Silmarillion are considered one-of-a-kind when sold and traded.

They're Non-Fungible Tolkiens.

My partner had a go at me because at night, unaware, I go on about Hobbits, Rings and Orcs.

They think I'm Tolkien in my sleep.

You Tolkien to me?!"

- Hobbit de Niro.

I thought i heard Bilbo speak to Frodo

Turns out they were just Tolkien

What do you call an immaterial fantasy writer?

A non-fongible Tolkien.

One hobbit asks another: "Don't you feel like we're just a figment of someone's imagination?"

"Mate I have no idea what you're tolkien about"

What's it called when you try to appear PC by conspicuously including little people in your company's ad material

Tolkienism

Spent some cryptocurrency to take digital possession of an image of Gandalf killing the Balrog of Morgoth...

My first non-fungible Tolkien.

What did the Australian teacher say to his talkative literature class

Excuse me everyone please stop Tolkien

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was trying to sleep last night. Here's what happened.

Some dude has this bed right beside mine, and he randomly started saying this:

"I was born in 1892 in Bloemfontein. I wrote The Hobbit and The Lord of The Rings..."

For fuck's sake he was Tolkien in his sleep!

Best films of all time Lord of the rings and the Hobbit trilogies...

Now that's what I'm Tolkien about.

Why did the Lord of the Rings author get kicked out of the movie theatre.

He was Tolkien all the way through.

Middle Earth Dreamer

A man is concerned about his dreams and goes to see a doctor.

"Doctor, I've been having these dreams about Middle Earth every night and when I wake up, I'm convinced that I wrote The Lord of the Rings!"

The doctor tells the man, "Don't worry about it, you're just Tolkien in your sleep....

New digital LOTR trading card JPEGs for sale!!!

Non Fungible Tolkien’s

There is exactly one POC in the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy.

They needed a tolkien black guy.

A man goes to a psychiatrist due to a reoccurring dream...

He says to the shrink, "Sir, I've been dreaming that I wrote "The Lord of the Rings", night after night. What could this mean?"

The doctor ponders for a moment and says, "You've been Tolkien in your sleep."

Bruh what LOTR?

Everytime somebody brings it up, I just have no idea what they're Tolkien about

Did you know lotr could have come out a lot earlier?

Only problem was no one knew what the writer was Tolkien about

Why did Gimli have to be a part of the Fellowship?

He was the Tolkien minority.

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