UPJOKE
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Bob and Mary are single residence in a nursing home care facility. Every night Mary goes to Bob’s room and Jacks him off before bed.

One evening Mary goes to Bob‘s room and sees that Margret is in there doing what she considered to be her job. Mary calmly walks out unseen. The next day at breakfast she confronts Bob. “I went to your room last night and Margret was at your bedside instead of me. What does she have that I don’t”?. ...

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A bus full of nuns is driving through the Italian Alps...

When all of a sudden the driver misses a turn and the bus is launched of the edge of the cliff, rolls down the side of the mountain and explodes in a spectacular ball of flames.

A few moments later, St. Peter, who was expecting an easy day, found himself faced with 50 newly deceased and quite...

Greg wins £25,000,000.00 in the nationally lottery and runs home

"Margret, I won the lottery, pack your bags", "why Greg, where are we going?". "I don't care, pack your bags and get out" says Greg.

Old Lady: "Harold? What are you doing with my birth certificate at 3 in the morning?"

Old Man: "Oh, I'm just fawning over how beautiful your name is, darling."

Old Lady: "Harold! That is incredibly sweet of you!"

Old Man: "Well, what can I say? I'm incredibly lucky to have married the woman I love, and that she could have such a beautiful name as... uh..."

*squi...

A man dies, and goes to heaven

When he arrives, God and his family come to greet him.

'Jerry' God says, 'you have been good all your life, but there is one sin you have committed - you have killed a deer, and had it stuffed. But before you did that, you and your family had the nerve to do indecent things to it before it's ...

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A Bus Full of Nuns

A bus full of nuns crashes on their way to a Jesus convention.
Many of the nuns die and find themselves in line at heavens gate, with St. Peter standing guard. St. peter asks the first nun, "Sister Mary, have you ever touched a penis?", she replies, "only with these two fingers." as she holds up ...

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a bus full of nuns

A few years ago there was a bus full of nuns, sadly, the bus’ brakes went out, and they full off a cliff. there were no survivors.

at the gates of heaven, st. peter is there, with a vat of holy water.

“alright sisters, please make a line” says st. peter, “ah sister marget, welcome to ...

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