The Finger Jokes - 16 Hilarious The Finger Jokes

In a freak accident I lost all the fingers on my right hand.....

I asked the doctor If I would still be able to write with it.

He replied "Probably, but I wouldn't count on it"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He'd have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community..

If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy; if the Pope won, they'd have to convert or leave.

The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise Rabbi to represent them in the debate.

However, as the Rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no Hebrew, they agreed that it would be a 'si...

Tragedy in the Finger Kingdom occurred today.

Most of the Royal Family was murdered. The King, the Queen, and both of their daughters were killed during a Royal Feast.

Investigators were able to find and arrest the culprit quickly. Apparently, he didn't get rid of the Finger Prince.

What did the finger say to the other finger?

I am in glove with you

The most reliable part of your body are the fingers.

You can always count on them.

I yelled “COW!” At a woman on a bike and she gave me the finger

Then she plowed her bike straight into the cow. I tried.

My taxidermist ruined my order so I gave him the finger

I'm still waiting to get it back.

They say when you point the finger, three fingers are pointing back at you.

That's why I always accuse people with my full erection. Checkmate.

ALWAYS BRING THE FINGERS

A man working with an electric saw accidentally cuts off all of his fingers. At the emergency room, his doctor says, "Give me the fingers, and I'll see what I can do."

The injured man repies, "But I don't have the fingers!"

"Why didn't you bring them?" the doctor asks.

The injur...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A fat women was riding her bike very fast down a hill in the country near my home, I yelled out "COW" the bitch gave me the finger

She ploughed straight into the cow.......tried warning her

A guy asked me how I lost the finger on my right hand.

I was showing someone how I lost the finger on my left

A leper gave me the finger the other day

I was upset, but I still did the right thing and gave it back

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I asked my wife for anal the other day. She was insulted and angrily gave me the finger

I couldn't walk properly the next day

Chris Pratt revealed that he wanted to be famous just to give his parents the finger for naming him after a fried rodent.

I mean, who names their kid after a crisp rat?

I can count the number of times I've visited Chernobyl on the fingers of one hand

It's 14

Actual true story: Met a teenager who had blood poisoning as a kid and had to have the fingers on his left hand amputated below the first joint.

He has promised me he will try the line out: "Girl, can I have your digits? 'Cause I'm missing some of mine."

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