UPJOKE
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Smh Jokes

Someone just asked me how to say no without speaking

Smh

Americans are bad at clash royale..

They lost 2 towers already smh.

I heard the judge threaten to disbar my lawyer.

SMH, they done gave me a saloon owner to defend me.

A couple were watching a movie in a dark theater when a mosquito went inside the girl's pants. Can you guess where did the mosquito bite?

On the boyfriend's hand, you dirty minded perverts. Smh.

When I was a little kid I had a pet turtle. Tiny little turtle, kept him in an aquarium. When i went to camp, the turtle died. When i got home, my dad lied to me. He said, "your turtle is live and well, it just went to go live with your mother." And i believed that til i was digging in the backyard

...found my mom's body.

Smh worst day of my life,
I loved that turtle

I hate when people misuse abbreviations

smh my head

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was holding the door open for a Japanese guy...

The Japanese guy was like "Sank you."
I punched him dead in the jaw. Smh bringing up Pearl Harbor like that.

I could tell my girlfriend was cheating on me when she said she was at the mall with her BFF Jill

...when Jill was lying beside me this whole time. Smh

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The screw and the bellybutton

So a guy I work with told us this joke on the plane, went on for full 30' which made it even funnier smh, this is a short version:

A boy is born and is perfectly normal, arms legs ears and stuff, except a tiny detail: He had a screw on his bellybutton. Parents send him to all doctors imagina...

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