My neighbor likes to put his grass clippings on the edge of my lawn.
So late one moonless night I planted a healthy stand of Johnson grass over his entire immaculately maintained front lawn. A month later his lawn was rife with weedy Johnson grass. I told my husband what I did and he said planting Johnson grass was a dick move.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
The M1 walks into a bar
[Americans, the M1 is a big road]
The M1 walked into a bar. He goes to the barman and says "Give me a pint". He gets his drink and starts angrily drinking.
In walks the A9. The A9 tries to order a pint. The M1 begins shouting "OI, fuck off. Who do you think you are? I'm the M1, the bi...