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Retainer Jokes

Neighbor: “I’ll have you know our lawyer has a $50,000 retainer!”

Me: “Wow, how bad are his teeth?”

I’ve been working for an orthodontist on a freelance basis…

… but now they’ve put me on a retainer.

This lawyer has a $70,000 retainer...

He must care a lot about his teeth!

My dentist said I need braces, but I needed to pay something upfront.

So I asked him "wait, do I need braces or a retainer?"

A lawyer and me at the bar....

A lawyer friend of mine comes up to the bar. He's also known for having notoriously crooked teeth, and he looks upset. A lone snaggle tooth protrudes through his frowning lips. I get him a drink quick and say to the lawyer, "boy! What's going on, bud?"

He takes a sip and explains how a well k...

How does an orthodontist hold on to a lawyer?

He makes him a retainer

[ultrasound]

Wife: "How does he look?"

Doctor: "This is honestly the biggest baby I've ever seen."

Husband: "So we're finally talking about the elephant in the womb."

Doctor:

Wife: "I keep a divorce lawyer on retainer."

How do dentists pay for their lawyers?

Retainers

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman goes into her orthodontist's office.

She then began to strip, and eventually got naked. When her orthodontist walked in, he exclaimed, obviously embarrassed, "Oh, my! I'm sorry, you must've walked in the wrong building. The doctor's is next door." She assured him she was in the right building, pointed to her vagina, and said, "You...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Tax Man (long)

One morning, a man got a call from the IRS.

IRS Agent: "Mr. Smith, we have noticed some large discrepancies on your account. We would like for you to come down to our office so that we can clear this issue up."

Mr Smith: "Gee, that sounds like a big deal. Should I bring a lawyer?"
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Timmy's Letter To Santa

Dear Santa,

How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the
reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I
would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 4 for
Christmas. I hope you remember that come Christmas Day.

Merry Christm...

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