How do dentists pay for their lawyers?

Retainers

Person A: "Don't mess with me, I have a lawyer on retainer!"

Person B: "I'll do what I want. You and your cheap lawyer don't scare me. I'll just hire a more expensive lawyer, one that doesn't need any dental work!"

My dentist said I need braces, but I needed to pay something upfront.

So I asked him "wait, do I need braces or a retainer?"

This lawyer has a $70,000 retainer...

He must care a lot about his teeth!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Tax Man (long)

One morning, a man got a call from the IRS.

IRS Agent: "Mr. Smith, we have noticed some large discrepancies on your account. We would like for you to come down to our office so that we can clear this issue up."

Mr Smith: "Gee, that sounds like a big deal. Should I bring a lawyer?"
...

[ultrasound]

Wife: "How does he look?"

Doctor: "This is honestly the biggest baby I've ever seen."

Husband: "So we're finally talking about the elephant in the womb."

Doctor:

Wife: "I keep a divorce lawyer on retainer."

How does an orthodontist hold on to a lawyer?

He makes him a retainer

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman goes into her orthodontist's office.

She then began to strip, and eventually got naked. When her orthodontist walked in, he exclaimed, obviously embarrassed, "Oh, my! I'm sorry, you must've walked in the wrong building. The doctor's is next door." She assured him she was in the right building, pointed to her vagina, and said, "You...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the
reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone
4 for Christmas. I hope you remember that come Christmas Day.

Merry Christma...

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