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Repossessed Jokes

My house got repossessed

I feel like all the money I spent on the exorcism was wasted

My house got repossessed

Serves me right for not paying my exorcism bills.

The star attraction at my local aquarium has been repossessed.

Turns out it was a loan shark .

Here's a Twofer

What do you do when your demon gets fat?

You exorcise him.



What happens if you don't pay your exorcist?

You get repossessed.

What happens if you don't pay your exorcist?

You get repossessed.

Got a variable rate mortgage on a haunted house and a cheap psychic to cleanse the spirits.

A month later it was repossessed.

A man's car gets haunted by a ghost

So he decided to go to a priest to get it removed.

The priest performs the exorcism, and it works! He successfully removes the ghost from the car. He says to the man "That'll be $250." The man refuses to pay, and so a couple weeks later his car gets repossessed.

One day, legendary musician Sting becomes bored of music, and decides to try his luck at day trading.

He does a few online courses and begins trading.

On the first day Sting loses some money, but learns from it, and unpertrubed by the small losses he continues with it. On the second day, Sting loses a bit less, and learns even more. Happy with the results, he decides to sink some more money i...

Did I ever tell you about the time my friend had an exorcism and refused to pay?

He got… Repossessed.

If someone performs an excorcism on you, and you dont have money to pay them...

Do you get repossessed?

My cousin is so poor....

that when she couldn't afford pay the Catholic church for her exorcism, they repossessed her.

After the priest performed a successful exorcism, Brenda refused to pay the fee.

The priest had her repossessed.

I told a poltergeist that I'd give him $10,000 to leave my home forever

But when I didn't pay he came back and repossessed my house

I had to get a loan to pay for an Exorcism

They said if i didn't pay it back on time i'd be repossessed

what do you call it when the devil takes your car?

repossessed ...

Always make sure to pay an exorcist in full

I didn't, and he repossessed my house

A man took out a loan to pay for an exorcist...

However he couldn’t make the repayments so the house was repossessed.

So my brother got an exorcism

Went fine until he fell arrears on the payments and got repossessed

This is an awfully hard time for me financially.

Last month I was unable to pay the bills to my exorcist and as a consequence I have been repossessed.

A snail saw a slug looking sad whilst watching a couple of beetles scurrying about having fun.

"What's up mate, life in the slow lane getting you down?", asked the snail.

The slug just looked at him and replied, "No. Surely it's obvious why I'm so down? I've had my home repossessed!"

Have you heard the one about the family who couldn't afford to pay the exorcist?

Their house was repossessed.

A brunette and her blonde sister live in the rural Southwest US, having inherited their family ranch.

The Great Depression hit them hard, and they only have $600 left.



Fearing that their ranch would be repossessed, the brunette goes to buy a bull so they can breed their own stock. She tells her sister "I'll come and contact you when I make the purchase", and promptly departs.

<...

Woman could not afford to pay her exorcism bills.

Her soul got repossessed...

What do you call a haunted house, whose ghost could not pay the rent?

Repossessed

I've heard that if you choose to do something you love, you'll never have to work a day in your life

Apparently loving to lay on the couch all day, watching TV and doing nothing doesn't apply and my stuff gets repossessed next Tuesday.

Republicans should have done more to stop predatory mortgages.

Maybe their house wouldn’t have been repossessed.

Math joke

A man was having a really bad day. His girlfriend left him, his car got repossessed and he lost his job. There was nothing left for him in his town so on a whim he took a taxi to the airport. He walked in and went up to the lady behind the counter and says “put me on a flight that will change my lif...

My house was haunted, so I got it exorcised by an expert.

Unfortunately, I couldn't afford the payment and it got repossessed.

A pious woman was possessed by a demon

She went to her priest, desperate to relieve herself of this burden. After a few silent rituals, she was rid of the demon. As she was exiting though, the priest extended his hand, signifying he was due payment. The woman replied, "Oh, but father, I have no money!"

She was repossessed.

Herschel is down on his luck and flat broke after getting fired from his job.

He prays to God "please God let me win the lottery tomorrow or my car will be repossessed".

Tomorrow comes, and Herschel doesn't win. He loses his car and prays to God again "please God let me win the lottery tomorrow or I'll lose my house".

Tomorrow comes and Herschel does not win. He...

I refused to waste money paying an exorcist...

so he repossessed my house.

What happens when you don't pay the exorcist...

You get repossessed.

Nope not mine. May be a repost. If so upvotes to that person.

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