UPJOKE
improvementrestorationoverhaulredevelopmentrefurbishmentfaceliftrepairconstructionbuildingreconstructionremodelrebuildingreclamationmeliorationrevitalization

Renovations Jokes

A slender woman met her friend for brunch. Talk turned to the renovations the friend was doing on her very old home.

The friend complained that, due to the very old carpentry and fixtures in the home, she needed a pair of oversized drill bits but couldn't find them anywhere. The first friend pulled out a pair of huge drill bits from her purse and asked if they would do. The second friend was thrilled and asked whe...

Was doing renovations on a house...

... And found a wall with a glory hole in it. I was going to tear it down, but it's load bearing.

For those unaware, Big Ben is undergoing renovations in London; it's no easy task

They're having to work around the clock to make it happen.

The Canadian restaurant by my house has been closed for renovations.

They're just doing some poutine maintenance.

I was doing some home renovations and I was knocking down a wall, only to find a secret unfurnished room behind it...

...then I remembered we live in a duplex.

A guy is sitting at his desk at work when his phone starts ringing.

He answers:

"Hello?"

"Hi, Mr Thomson, it's the builder. There's been a problem with your renovations."

"Oh dear, what's happened?" asks Mr Thomson

"Well, there's good news and bad news." says the builder, "The bad news is that your upstairs bathroom, and the second and t...

Three men sat around a table in a bar and talked about their wives.

The first man says, "I think my wife is having an affair with an electrician. When I got home last night I found a pair of pliers and some insulating tape behind the radiator in the bedroom - we've not had any work done on the house, and I can't think of any other way they could have got there".
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Frog joke

A frog goes into a bank in search of a loan. He approaches Patricia Wack who deals with the loans in this particular bank and says "Hi, I'd like a £10,000 loan as I am doing some home renovations". Patricia is a little bemused, as it is a frog asking for a loan, but she is a polite lady and so conti...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.