UPJOKE
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Recurring Jokes

I have this recurring nightmare where not only am I forced to become Vegan

I'm then stranded alone on a desert island and there's nobody to tell.

A man is talking to his doctor about a recurring dream he keeps having.

"I keep dreaming about a soccer match between elephants and mice" the patient said

"No worries" says the doctor and gives the patient some medicine, "take this just before bed and you'll have a dreamless sleep"

"Ok, thank you doctor" responded the man "but can I start it tomorrow? Th...

Recurring dreams

A man goes to a psychiatrist and says “Dr. you have to help me, I keep having these recurring dreams. One night I dream that I am a wigwam and the next night I dream I am a teepee. It alternates one night wigwam, one night teepee. “. The psychiatrist says “I think I know what your problem is. You ...

Henry would have recurring nightmares that someone was attempting to break into his house

There was a man named Henry who would having recurring nightmares that someone was attempting to break into his house. While the nightmare would always end with the burglar failing to enter, Henry still feared that this could be an omen. Every morning after checking for signs of a break in and findi...

How much of Reddit content is made up of recurring themes?

69%

I keep having this recurring dream when I’m riding a horse...

It’s been six nights on the trot.

I keep having this recurring dream about a horse wearing a suit of armor

Actually, it may be more of a knight mare.

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The recurring dream

An old man sought out advice from his therapist about his troubling recurring dreams.

One night I'm a wigwam, the next night I'm a teepee.

Relax, said the therapist, you're two tents.

A recurring decimal walked into a bar

And never returned

I have a recurring wet dream about Theresa May

Where I'm drowning her in the Thames.

My grandmother was a somnambulist who had recurring dreams of coloring Easter eggs

Conveniently, she dyed in her sleep last week.

Being stuck inside for a long time due to Covid, my wife started having recurring nightmares about how our house is made of celery.

Doctors think it is stalk home syndrome.

What did one shovel say to the other during a recurring fight?

Can we just bury this?

What do you call it when a story has a recurring train theme?

A Loco Motif

A guy said to his psychologist, “Doc, you gotta help me. I‘m having strange, recurring dreams that I’m either a teepee or a wigwam. Every night, teepee, wigwam, teepee, wigwam! Please, make it stop!” The doctor said,

“Relax, you’re two tents.”

Happy Pi Day

Me: I dreamed my teacher is making me read out endless values of π.

Psychiatrist: Is it recurring?

Me: Not as far as anyone can tell.

A guy goes to a psychiatrist.

"Doc, I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?"
The doctor replies, "It's very simple. You're two tents."

A man goes to see a psychologist...

The man tells the doctor that he has a recurring nightmare in which two teams of rats play football.

The doctor said: 'Take this pill, and tonight the nightmare is gone.'

'I can't do that.' The other one said.

'Why not?' The doctor asked, puzzled.

With a grin on his face...

I went to my psychiatrist the other day

I said hey Doc I keep having this recurring dream and it’s got me really frazzled , one minute I’m a tepee and the next I’m a wigwam, next minute a tepee and then a ... stop right there he said, I know exactly what’s wrong with you. Your two tents

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A man is seeing his therapist.

“Doc I have recurring dreams. One night I’m a tepee, the next I’m a wigwam”

“Well, this is an easy one. You’re two tents.”

(I’m new here, so I apologize for the hundredth time this has been posted)

A man passes away...

A man passes away and his funeral is set to be held in his hometown where one of his sons lives. The other, a wealthy businessman, unfortunately can't make it to the ceremony so instead he offers to pay for the entire thing. A few months later, the businessman is looking over his finances and notice...

My Wife found out that our Dog (a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the Veterinarian.......

The Vet found that the problem was Hair in the Dog's Ears.

He cleaned both ears, and the Dog could then hear fine.

The Vet then proceeded to tell Andrea that, if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should go to the store and get some "Veet" hair remover and rub it in the Dog's ...

What do you call a bachelor from New Zealand? Two Thirds

Because of the recurring SIX

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Oldie but goodie

At Bob’s regular therapy session, the discussion move towards his dreams.

Bob mentions he keeps having a recurring dream that he is a tepee touring the Pow Wow circuit.

He is not of indigenous origin so his therapist is intrigued and wonders how this could be.

He asks Bob to ...

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Since translated jokes are becoming a thing now, I will(attempt) to translate a Turkish joke...

One day Temel goes to the local caffe with his friends. While playing games and drinking tea a Japanese dude walks in and says "Does anyone in here got the balls to beat me ?". After this Temel gets up and says "I do", then they both head outside. 5 minutes later Temel comes back with a broken nose ...

Grover the Grocer and the Shoplifter

Grover the grocer ran a comfortable business, with one recurring malady--a persistent shoplifter named Gwen. Grover knew she was robbing him blind, but couldn't seem to catch her in the act.

This continued for quite a number of years until, as fortune would have it, one day he caught her redh...

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A man has stomach problems and doctors can't figure out what's wrong.

A man was having recurring stomach pains and eventually said enough was enough and went to the doctor about it.

The doctor couldn't figure out what was wrong with him and referred him to another doctor, who also couldn't find the problem and referred him to a stomach specialist.

The ...

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