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Prosthetic Leg Jokes

I'm getting my girlfriend a prosthetic leg for Xmas

It's just a stocking filler.

I've got a prosthetic leg.

I just hope it's previous owner got home okay.

Why did the one legged man get a prosthetic leg for Christmas?

It was a stocking stuffer.

A paraplegic got prosthetic legs for a single day before they broke.

He had a one night stand.

A girl was throwing stones in her backyard one day

She threw one a little too hard and it came back and hit her in the eye. She ran inside yelling and crying and her parents drove her to the hospital

The doctor tells the family that her eye is going to have to be removed and she’ll need a prosthetic. The family doesn’t have a lot of money and...

A guy with golden prosthetic legs walks into a bar and orders all of the beer

The bartender asks,

Bartender: *"how are you going to pay for all of that?"*

Guy: *"With mah-knee."*

There is an outstanding warrant for a man with a prosthetic leg who was caught importing drugs. But after a year, he has still not been caught

Police say they're stumped

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Me and my friend have an amputee foot fetish.

I know, it's gross, but we can only cum on prosthetic legs. Anyway, our last three-way with an amputee, we both prematurely came on her real toes! I had to politely ask the girl, "Can we start over? I feel like we got off on the wrong foot."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Apparently 3 out of 5 Americans live next to some sort of sexual pervert.

Not me, I live next to a sexy senior citizen with a prosthetic leg!

Give a man a fish, and you will feed him for a day.

Give a man two prosthetic legs, and he'll shoot his girlfriend.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was walking down the street when his son asks him a question.

"Dad, why is that guy wearing a robot leg?"

"It's a prosthetic leg," the father explains. "They go where real limbs used to be."

Confused, the son asks, "Did mum used to have a penis?"

"No son," the dad replies. "Why'd you ask?"

"She has one in her drawer."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My dad said people shouldn't get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.

So I took the Purple Heart that he got in Vietnam.

He was so mad he threw his prosthetic leg at me.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 surgeons are in a bar...

They're arguing over who is the best surgeon out of all of them. The first one goes, "Well, one of my patients lost his leg, but after I gave him a prosthetic leg, he became an Olympic runner." Second one goes, "Psh, that's nothing! I once had a patient with several brain disabilities and was mental...

Why couldn't the bike stand up on its own?

It was two-tired.

*Slaps knee*

*Prosthetic leg falls off*

There was a father and son..

The father is a war veteran. He also has a prosthetic leg. One day, his son asks..

"Dad, did you ever get shot in the army?"

The father responds, "No, I got shot in the leggy"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had an interview at a Disability Clinic...

After having a fantastic interview, the interviewer handed me a paper and told me to wait outside his office.

So, I’m pacing and reading this paper—because impulse—and I accidentally bumped into some random guy. He fell pretty hard to the ground. I said “Oh my gosh, I was so focused on readin...

Thibodeaux had recently lost an eye

and gotten it replaced with a wooden one. A few weeks later, he went on down to the bar where he noticed a lady with a prosthetic leg.

Thibodeaux walked up to her and asked if she'd like to dance. She gasped and said, "would i?"

Thibodeaux yelled back "peg leg!"

Wooden Eye Vet

A war vet with a wooden eye goes to a dance for injured veterans. He can't find a partner to dance with him. He sees from the opposite side of the dance floor a girl with a prosthetic leg. Seeing that she is also without a dance partner, he makes his move.
He approaches her and asks "Would you da...

An Iraq War Veteran Walks into a Bar

He quietly takes a seat and asks for a bourbon, double. The bartender obliges, and notices the man's dog-tags while he pours the drink. "First one's on the house – for your service." The veteran nods in approval and reaches towards his glass, but drops it just as he picks it up, spilling the whiskey...

You know what I want

A guy taking a overnight train settles down in his bunk in the sleeper car, he hears someone climb into the bunk below him. He looks down behind the curtain, its a beautiful blonde woman. She takes off her blouse and removes her falsies, she takes off her false eyelashes, she removes a fake eye, tak...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Once upon a time, there was a sand dune with legs.

Duney they called him, truly one of a kind - a war hero of great accomplishment and honour, until that one fateful night.

It was 7PM, and the sun's glow was falling. Duney was exhausted, stumbling with his gun's barrel scraping along the desert's sand.
That was when Duney's world entered ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Long] An old gambler sits down at a bar and orders a drink. After a few drinks the gambler calls the bartender over and says "I'll bet you $100 dollars I can wrap my knee around my neck.

"The bartender thinks to himself that's impossible there's no way that old man is that limber so he says "I'll take that bet" and pulls a $100 dollars from the drawer. The old gambler removes his prosthetic leg and wraps it around his neck grabs the hundred dollars and buys another round.

Af...

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