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Proctology Jokes

After my proctology exam I was left alone in the exam room for a few minutes. Then the nurse came in and whispered three words no man ever wants to hear.

"Who was that?"

A Proctology exam.

A man is sitting over the counter with his pants down at the doctors office.

The doctor comes in and sits down and starts working the gloves onto his hands.

“Alright Brian, it’s your first proctology exam, just sit back, relax, and try not to get an erection” the doctor says.

...

proctology can be a rewarding career, but...

You have to start at the bottom

I was a doctor in the navy and my specialty was proctology.

I always got behind in my work, but I eventually attained the rank of Rear Admiral.

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Did you knew that astronomy and proctology are similar?

\-Yeah? How?



\-Well, i used a telescope and saw Uranus

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A student of proctology is in the morgue...

...one day after classes, wanting to get a little practice in before the final exams. He goes over to a table where a body is lying face down. He uncovers the body and, to his surprise, he finds a cork in the corpse's rectum.

Figuring that this is fairly unusual, he pulls the cork out and, t...

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Proctology Exam

A Guy goes into a proctologist's office for his first exam.

The doctor told him to have a seat. In the examination room and that he would be with him in just a few minutes. When the man sat down and began observing the tools he noticed there were three items on a stand next to the exam table...

Why is proctology called proctology?

Because analogy was already taken.

As I got older, I’ve developed this embarrassing habit of screaming loudly during my proctology exams.

It makes my patients feel really uncomfortable.

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Proctology Appontment

A man goes in for his proctology appointment to a beautiful, young female doctor who's only just finished her residency.

"What's wrong?" she asks.

"Well, for the last few days or so I've been constipated. It's as if something's stuck in my ass."

So she tells him to drop his pa...

I got a proctology exam from my doctor yesterday.

I really need to find a new dentist.

The Annual Urology vs Proctology Basketball Tournament ended predictably...

Urology is #1

Proctology is #2

A joke told to me by a doctor in a hospital elevator

What are the three rules of proctology?

>!1) Don't shake hands!<

>!2) No finger foods!<

>!3) Don't pick your nose!<

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I'm sick of being surrounded by assholes everyday

I should stop practicing proctology.

What was the first profession to go all digital?

Proctology.

Unlicensed Proctologists

I heard on the news that some med school dropouts end up practicing proctology illegally. It's certainly frowned upon, but inevitably some unqualified professionals end up slipping through the cracks.

Textbooks

The podiatry textbook used footnotes while the proctology textbook used endnotes.

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Overheard in a hospital..

Nurse: 'Sir, I've had word from the proctology department that they're just about done with your shit. You need to drop by in a week so they can give you the results'

Patient: 'A week!? Are they taking the piss?'

Nurse: 'No sir, that would be urology. They should be calling you tomorro...

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