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Pistorius Jokes

Let's play the Oscar Pistorius drinking game

Whenever your girlfriend goes to the bathroom take a shot

New evidence has been found outside the Pistorius home that completely acquits him of his girlfriend's murder.

Footprints

Oscar Pistorius really wanted a new bathroom door

but his girlfriend was dead against it.

Oscar Pistorius

Surely Oscar Pistorius isn't the only guy who's come home legless, and then shot a load into his girlfriend's face while imaging it was someone else?

Did you hear about Oscar Pistorius' home improvements?

He wants a new bathroom door, but his girlfriend's dead against it

Olympic bilateral amputee Oscar Pistorius lost his appeal for the crime of murder. The Judge said...

He didn't have a leg to stand on.

If Oscar Pistorius’s lower legs hadn’t been amputated

he would have been an un-de-feeted champion

OJ Simpson, Scott Peterson, and Oscar Pistorius walk into a bar...

...all three order a Bloody Mary.

Oscar Pistorius gets six years jail.

Jail, then home detention, and back to jail. Wow, for someone with no legs he's covering a lot of ground.

How are Manchester City and Oscar Pistorius similar?

They lost both legs, but still managed to get four shots on target.

The Olympic committee wanted to name a celestial body after Oscar Pistorius.

But they were denied since he is already a shooting star.

Oscar Pistorius is pleading not guilty to the charge of premeditated murder

Frankly I don't think he's got a leg to stand on.

What's the difference between England and Oscar Pistorius?

England gets off scott-free.

Do you know what made Oscar Pistorius so angry at his girlfriend?

She was looking at another man's legs.

Roses are red...

Violets are glorious.

I wouldn't surprise

Oscar Pistorius.

"Pistorius" sounds like a spell Harry Potter would use to make someone's legs disappear

That's a Frankie Boyle joke

"Bloodied cricket bat found in Oscar Pistorius' house"

In addition, locals have told police that he was previously sighted with stumps.

Are we sure that Oscar Pistorius was the only one involved in the murder of his girlfriend?

Someone else may well have done the leg work.

Bad taste

"If you'd had a tin of shoe polish, you could have blackened her up and got away with it," I said to Oscar Pistorius, laughing.

Then I realised that was in bad taste. Why would he have a tin of shoe polish?

Oscar

• Roses are red,

Violets are glorious,

Don't try to surprise

Oscar Pistorius


• She didn't notice Oscar sneaking up behind her. It was the silence of the limbs.

• Oscar Pistorius. Not the first South African with a race problem.

• When Oscar Pistorius sai...

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