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Omnipresent Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear the one about the omnipresent nymphomaniac?

He's fucking EVERYWHERE.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Priest and a Cowboy are walking in the desert

They come across a flock of geese so the cowboy pulls out his two guns and empties them in the direction of the geese.

"Fuck, I missed!"

"Do not use that word, child, for God will smite you"

They walk on and come across yet another flock of geese. Same thing.

"Fuck, I mis...

God says to jesus, "You remembered it's father's day?"

Jesus says "what the hell am I supposed to get a man who has everything?!"

*God turns & winks at camera*

"Omnipresents."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

During the Dark Ages, the Pope decrees that he is going to expel all of the Jews out of Europe...

...naturally, the Jews aren't very happy with this. Jewish people all over Europe start protesting in the streets, demanding that the Pope change his mind and let the Jewish people stay. Since the protests and riots are starting to get a bit chaotic and violent, the Pope creates a proposition. He wi...

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