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Narcissists Jokes

How many narcissists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One. They hold the lightbulb and the world revolves around them.

How many narcissists does it take to change a light bulb?

Narcissists don’t use light bulbs. They use gaslighting.

What's a narcissists' favorite operating system?

Windows Me

I tried to start an NA for narcissists...

But no one wanted to remain anonymous.

Why do narcissists take blurry photos ?

They can only focus on themselves

How do narcissists save money on their electricity bills?

They use gaslighting.

Why do narcissists like air?

Because it's all about them.

Why do Narcissists quit competitive High Jumping just when they get good at it?

They can never get over themselves.

Have you heard of the new dating site for narcissists?

It's called meHarmony.

You know what the most infuriating thing about narcissists is?

They never think about how their actions affect *me*!

"Let he who is without sin throw the first stone," Jesus said.

As the stones began to fly, Jesus realized he might have made a mistake by including the local narcissists.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you know if a lightbulb is a prostitute?

Its been screwed in and out by teams of scientists, skateboarders, narcissists, every one of the human races, Vietnam vets, Grateful Dead fans, computer scientists, Army Rangers, stoners, Yankee fans, dead babies, roaming hippies, alchoholics, cops, Comcast employees, Jedis, Dragonball-Z characters,...

long. Two cops lead an unfortunate man into a padded cell

Instantly the men in white coats grab him, wrench his arms behind his back and, when he screams in pain, the psychiatrist tears down his trousers and jags him with a needle.

As they're carrying the unconcious body out the younger of the cops, shocked, says:

"Was that really necessary? ...

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