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Namaste Jokes

A girl asked me if I wanted to join her in yoga at 6 am

I told her, "namaste in bed".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Namaste

So my wife recently took up Yoga. I came home one evening to find her on her mat doing ~~Shavanna~~ ~~Shashimi~~ ~~Shavashashanana~~ the pose where you lie on your back with your eyes closed meditating or more likely snoring gently. I pulled down my shorts, knelt over her head and rested my testicle...

The Buddha

The Buddha was sitting under the bodhi tree, then some other guys asked him to get up and leave.
Buddha says, "namaste".

I asked a Hindu girl if she wanted to go home with me

She just smiled and said "Namaste."

What do you you say when a monk tries to kick you out of the monastery ?

Namaste

What do you tell your friend when they try to get you to go to yoga with them?

Namaste...

A yoga guru is caught loitering on a corner and is asked to leave by police.

He replies “Namaste”.

My Yoga instructor was so hot, I didn't want to leave the studio...

She kept telling me it was done but I said "namaste"

What does an Indian who refuses to leave say?

Namaste.

I asked my yoga teacher if he was going to go home from the studio right after class,

He said: Namaste.

What did the yoga instructor say when the blackjack dealer asked him if he wanted another card?

Namaste

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a yoga class....

And is really disruptive to the whole class so the teacher asks him to leave. The man puts his hands together and says namaste.

What did the Hindu monk say when the policeman asked him to leave the premises?

Namaste.

What did The Buddha say when they tried to evict him?

“Namaste.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A buddhist goes to a hot dog stand and says...

"Make me one with everything."

When the guy hands him his hot dog, the monk pays and asks for his change.

The vendor replies, "Change comes from within."

Then the monk gets angry and pulls out his gun.

The vendor clamors "Whoa, whoa! What about inner peace?"

And...

A prince visited a famous Yogi

When the Prince walked up to the Yogi, He was meditating in a handstand pose. The prince felt that it was extremely rude that the man would not stand up and great him properly.

The prince said, “Sir, stand up greet me properly!”



“Namaste upside down” said the Yogi

Sunrise Yoga

I’m on vacation with my wife and she asks me “do you want to join me for sunrise yoga tomorrow?”

I replied ‘namaste in bed’

Fed-up, I finally told that stubborn monk to leave!

"namaste"

What does a Buddhist from the hood say after his friends ask him to leave?

Namaste.

What did the sleepy yogi say when he hit snooze?

Namaste in bed a bit longer.

Hippie jokes

Q: How can you tell a hippie has been at your house?

A: He's still there.

Q: What did he say when you told him to leave?

A: Namaste.
___________________
Q: What's the difference between a hippie chick and a joint?

A: The joint won't make it all the way around the ci...

The instructor told me to just leave the yoga class if i wasn't going to take it seriously

I looked her in the eye and said "namaste"

What did the Hindu say when asked if he was going to leave on his pilgrimage across all of the ancient holy sites?

Namaste here.

A man's mother was having back problems.

He took her to the doctor, who upon inspection told her that she just needed to get some regular stretching done, and prescribed a private yoga tutor. The mother was very much against this idea at first, and the son was skeptical as well, but after some convincing by the doctor, they agreed to give ...

I had a party the other night. Asked everyone to GTFO. some hippie told me

Namaste

What did the buddhist monk say when he was asked if he was leaving?

Na 'ma stay. (namaste)

Grandfather joke at Easter dinner last sunday. Sorry.

What does the hippie say when you tell him to get off your couch?

Namaste (better to say it aloud)

After yoga class, everyone was feeling a bit hungry

...so we all agreed to go grab a bite together but as we went to invite our instructor, he was in such a deep trance that his only response was a long drawn "ohm" constant throughout his breathing.

We tried for a good twenty minutes before finally his eyes rolled opened and his smile shined b...

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