Monet Jokes - 29 Hilarious Monet Jokes

Why did the art thief’s van run out of gas as he drove away from the museum?

Because he had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.

The art of joke writing

A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre.

After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van.

However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime...

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Vincent Van Gogh, Pablo Picasso, Claude Monet, and Leonardo De Vinci are all eating at a nice restaurant when the waitress comes around with the bill.

They’d all ordered the same item and had previously agreed to split the bill four ways.

When they looked at the check, however, they saw that the 10% gratuity would not split evenly, so one of them would end up paying an extra $0.01.

“We should have an art competition to decide,” Da Vi...

Why did the art critics hate Monet so much?

Because he loved having spontaneous impressions.

What does Claude leave when he has no Monet to pay for his coffee?

A bad impression.

An art thief broke into the Louvre.

Through careful studying of the building plans and months of meticulous planning, he was able to evade all the security and stole several priceless paintings.

He then loaded the paintings into his van parked nearby. Just as he was about to leave, he heard the alarm go off in the building.
...

What do you call a long, curved potato with a monetized video channel?

A professional U-tuber.

Why was the artist so poor?

He didn't have any Monet...

What does the art thief say?

Give me all your monet.

The value of French Impressionism...

...is largely determined by Monet Laundering.

An art thief once stole some very expensive paintings from the Louvre in Paris. He took two Van Goghs, a couple Monets, a DeGas, and some other paintings.

Everything went perfectly, except he was captured sitting in his van with the paintings only 2 blocks from the museum, his van had run out of fuel!

When asked by the police how he could plan such a successful robbery and then be foiled by such a simple error, he replied...

"I had no ...

I joined a crime syndicate that steals and counterfeits valuable art

I don’t like what they do, I’m just in it for the Monet

The thief pulled out his gun, pointed it at the art gallery manager and said

"This is a robbery, give me all your monet!"

Art Thief

A mastermind thief infiltrates The Louvre and steals several paintings. He loads them all into his van and drives off. A few blocks away, his van breaks down. When the police arrive on the scene, one of the officers asks the mastermind how something like this could happen if he was so smart. The mas...

It’s hard for artists to live off their craft

Sooner or later they all run out of Monet.

Have you heard about the lady cleaning peoples houses in exchange for French paintings?

She works hard for the Monet

What did the Cat burglar say when he was caught stealing from a French art museum?

I did it for the Monet

Did you hear about the attempted art robbery at the Tate?!

They ran out of fuel halfway through their getaway, and were found two streets away. When they were interrogated, they said:"We didn't have the Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh"

When I get rich I’ll start to collect French impressionist art.

I’ll put my Monet where my mouth is.

The definition of Baroque:

A time when there is no Monet.

An art museum robber is caught when he tries to get away....

A reporter asks him what went wrong with the robbery. He answers " I didn't have the Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.

Two art theives were going about their business at an art museum.

One said to the other, "Grab the Monet and let's Gogh."

The Art Thief

The Art Theif

A French man goes into the Louvre’s parking with his van. He gets out and goes inside. He sneaks pass guards, gets through barbed wire, avoids lasers and in front of him there is the Mona Lisa. He takes it and manages to get back to his van. When he goes into his van and leaves ...

Congrats to the National Gallery on receiving a substantial donation of French Impressionist and Eastern European artwork.

Which is to say ... they're getting Monet for nothing and the Czechs for free.

A man spent millions on an impressionist painting then ate it...

He put his Monet where his mouth is.

You know what, as a Jew, I'm getting really tired of these Jewish jokes.

We need to stop giving them away for free and figure out a way to monetize them.

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I was absolutely fuming when I walked out of the art store earlier

Bitch didn't have my Monet

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A man and a frog

One evening a man was taking a walk and was passing by a pet store. The pet store owner was stand in front holding a large frog.
As the man was passing, "Hey Mr. You want to buy this frog?" "No. I don't want to buy that frog"
Store owner says " This frog will give you the best blow job you ev...

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2000 Indian Rupees

It is the month of November a resort town sits next to the shores of a lake. It is raining, and the little town looks totally deserted. De-monetization of 500 and 1000 Rupee notes has been announced and no one has cash.

Suddenly, a rich tourist comes to town. He enters the only hotel, lays a ...

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