UPJOKE
riverenglish channelfrancefishyalunevadijonvolgasursource-seinecanalburgundyparisfishnetsicily

Did you hear about the crazy person that that fell into the French river?

He was in Seine.
(Ignore the second that)

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I've adapted a play about a hoard of small Chinese rodents that go to Paris during the French revolution and then all run off a cliff into the Seine.

Le Mings

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Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine.

It's a beautiful day, and love is in the air. Marie leans over to Pierre and says: "Pierre, kiss me!"

Our hero grabs a bottle of Merlot wine and splashes it on Marie's lips. "What are you doing, Pierre?", says the startled Marie.

"I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I have red meat, ...

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8 Life Lessons — NOT OC

I'll credit this as last posted by u/NinjaNoob99.

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*SHOWER:*

A woman gets out of the shower just as her husband is going to his room. Hearing a knock on the front door, she wraps herself in her bathrobe before stepping outside. She sees her neighbor, who says "I'll give you...

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My friend said he saw a nocturnal mammal defecate in a French River

I told him that's bat shit in Seine

You know, Inspector Javert wasn't mad

But he died in Seine.

If you jumped off a bridge in Paris

You would be IN SEINE.....

France

Did you hear about the psychotic Parisian who jumped into the river?
Apparently he was in Seine

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The pickup line of Cecil the cavalier

Cecil is a young British aristocrat who loves horse-riding but is terribly shy.

On his daily trot around Hyde Park, he frequently sees a beautiful girl riding a jet-black Morgan horse but can’t pluck up the courage to approach her.

One evening he’s having a beer with his friend Charles...

A couple decided to go skinny dipping in Paris during a cold winter night.

They were In Seine

A man jumps into a river in paris.

His friend is shocked and asks "What are you doing?". The man says "I'm in Seine!"

What do you call a person swimming in Paris' waters in winter?

In *Seine*.

Confucius say: Man who jump off bridge in Paris

is in-Seine.

When I was in Paris I got rip-roaring drunk and fell off a bridge into the river

It was in Seine

Why are there so many more kids working in fishing than on ranches?

Because everyone knows children should be seine and not herd.

What happened to the thief in Paris who jumped into the river to try to escape the police?

He was found criminally in Seine.

A drunk guy is driving around Paris...

He keeps crashing into everything, and almost kills several pedestrians. Eventually, he's about to cross a bridge, but he doesn't make it, and instead plunges his car into the water below. However, the guy doesn't seem to care, as he tries to keep driving.

A nearby ship: "What the heck is wro...

"There's a guy that jumped off the Pont Neuf!"

He must be in Seine.

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The Greatest Fighter-pilot in France!

There is a fighter-pilot in France called Pierre. He is known throughout all of France as the best. Men want to be him, women want to be with him.

One night he is on the banks of the Seine with a beautiful woman. He charms her with his sharp wit and his soft whispers. Eventually she says "Pie...

A tourist is walking along the riverbank in Paris

when a Frenchman runs and pushes him in.

Spluttering and angry, the tourist shouts "Are you crazy?"

To which the Frenchmen replies laughing "No, but you're in Seine"

During My Trip to Paris

While I was in Paris, me and my friends decided to go for a swim during an awfully cold day. We went down to the river, and as I waded in the water, I called my mom to tell her what I was doing. She replied,
"What are you, in Seine!?"

I plan to swim all the way to Paris

my friends think I'm In-Seine.

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