Mary Poppins Jokes

Step in thyme.

She gave the following statement:

“The super colour fragile lipstick gives me halitosis”..

It was super calorific

Superkalifragilus ketoacidosis

They had super cauliflower cheese but lobster was atrocious

She asked how often they used the word supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Um said he rarely used it. Little Um, who used it all the time said he never used it.

In other words, Um did a little, Little Um did a lie.

The sign outside reads: Super California Mystic Expert: Halitosis

Mary Poppins decides to grow some vegetables. When she picks her crop in the autumn, her carrots, potatoes, onions, and spring beans have all failed, but her cauliflowers have grown a treat.

She picks them, cooks some for Sunday lunch in a cheese sauce, and they taste wonderful.

After ... read more

Mary Poppins was traveling home, but due to worsening weather, she decided to stop at a hotel for the night. She approached the receptionist and asked for a room for the night.

"Certainly madam," he replied courteously.

"Is the restaurant open still?" inquired Mary.

"Sorry, n... read more

Umdiddleiddleiddleumdiddle Eye.”

Eli Lilly & Merck in the 00's, "A syringe-full of medicine makes the sugar go down."

I deliver...

Super-calibre-ballistic-expedient-explosions

Supercalifragilisticartherosclerosis.

She said she'd replace it, so I asked her how good she was at catching mice.

Courtesy of Mary Poppins.

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

A Super-calloused-fragile-mystic-hexed-by-halitosis

SuperCapitalisticallyExploitingOldNostalgia

I told him every time I turn on the TV I see Mary Poppins, he reckons I have a bad case of the um diddle um diddle um diddle eye!

Gandhi's political power was born from his ultra modest means - but it came at a price. His feet were in terrible condition due to his insistence on wearing rough leather sandals. Hunger strikes weakened his immune system and he was very prone to illness, but in his moments of weakness, he is said t... read more

Little did either of us know, I was predicting my future diabetes problems.

I'm a drifter, a woman, and you don't find that much, especially in England. I run a scam pretending to be a nanny. Too recently, I had to eliminate some competition for the job. I got in, and got in real good with the parents. Scared the kids. I gave them LSD and forced them to consort with a schiz... read more

The project manager excitedly explains how the attack submarine will be much faster than an enemy due to an innovative design which drastically reduces drag forces. The general asks how progress is coming along.

The manager replies, “The propulsion system is complete, I think it's ready for ... read more

Everyone knows about Gandhi. Pacifist, role model of MLK, and arguably the most important man in the movement of Indian independence. Of course, aside from his upstanding character, he did have a multitude of physical flaws. As an Indian peasant, he rarely wore shoes because he was too poor to affor... read more