Legionnaire Jokes

“Five beers, please.”

Two French legionnaires are walking through the desert, lost, when they happen across an oasis. One turns to the other and say "look! Zat tree 'as bacon on eet!" In excitement they run towards the tree but as they approach bullets start striking the ground around them. As they are running off the se... read more

(Long but worth it)

Judge: "You are accused of beating your wife to death. If you want to expect any mercy, you'll have to give us a damn good reason."
Man: "She was so stupid, I just had to kill her."
Judge: "That is even worse. If you don't want to be declared guilty on the spot, you ... read more

This guy joins the French Foreign Legion and gets sent to a fort way out in the desert, several miles from the nearest town. There are only men at the fort-- no women. After a few months our legionnaire becomes rather desperate for female companionship, so finally he approaches the crusty old sergea... read more