This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy meets his friend and notices that he's anxious and jittery.

Man 1: What's wrong?

Man 2: I've been having a bad day.

Man 1: What happened?

Man 2: When I opened my door, the damn knob broke on me!

When I turned my faucet on, the damn faucet broke on me!

When I tried to pick up my briefcase, the damn handle broke on me!
...

A Dachshund and a Labrador are walking together when the former suddenly unloads on his friend.

“My life is a mess,” he says. “My owner is mean, my girlfriend ran away with a Pomeranian and I’m as jittery as a cat.”

“Why don’t you go see a psychiatrist?” suggests the Labrador.

*“I can’t. I'm not allowed on the couch.”*

My weight-gain parcels have just arrived and I'm feeling really jittery. I might have to go and see a doctor.

I think I've got the shakes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Man Comes Home To His Apartment To Find His Wife In Bed, Naked

Now, he's already suspected her of cheating for some time, and coming home to see his wife naked in her bed set him off like a bull.

"WHERE IS THAT FUCKER!!!!" He shouts at her, wildly scrambling around the room, looking in every hiding spot his mind can think of.

He suddenly runs out ...

A Scary Midnight Story

A taxi driver is going home at midnight when he decides to take a shortcut through a cemetery. He's driving slowly through the dark when he suddenly stops in shock. In front of his headlights is a lady in white hailing him down.

Before he has time to think, the woman climbs in and says in a ...

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