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Jihadist Jokes

What did the Hawaiian Jihadist say to encourage himself?

Aloha Akbar!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A jihadist was preparing himself for his mission, when suddenly he's facing the image of his dearly departed comrad

"Ahmad! How is paradise?"

"Abdul, don't go through with the mission, it is not the paradise we were promised!"

"How is that possible? How could that be? Did you get the 72 virgins?"

"Yes, and that's the problem, Abdul... think about what kind of women dies a virgin."

Why do Jihadist Muslims only drink instant coffee?

'Cause they hate the French press

A jihadist walks into a support group.

"Hi! Welcome to Fear of Infidelity, sorry I know some of the letters in our sign are out..."

A jihadist tried stand-up comedy.

He bombed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There is a reason why I (20m) would like to not die a virgin

I would hate to be part of a jihadists heaven

What does a jihadist cow cause?

Udder Chaos!

How do you stop a Jihadist drowning ?

Take your foot off his head!

What is a jihadist's favorite kind of pepper?

Allahpeño

Did you hear about the jihadist birthday party?

It was a blast.

What did the jihadist do when he forgot to study?

He bombed the exam.

I want to open a Reserve to breed, arm and train West Lowland Gorillas to fight Jihadists.

I'm going to call it Boko Harambe

Where do Jihadists get their snacks?

At the Allah hu snackbar.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-week strike on Wednesday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife

Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.


The unrest began last Tuesday, when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death, would be cut by 25% this February from 72 to 54. A spokesman said increases in rec...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Every religion has violent people...

... The Christians have The Westboro Baptist Church, the Muslims have the jihadists, and the Jews have the IRS

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Racist/Nationally prejudiced pick up lines.

I'm not black, but I'll steal your heart.

Hey girl, I'm not Asian, but I'll eat that pussy.

I'm not from Russia, but you make me blush-a.

If you were a Jihadist, would you blow me first?

Did you just have curry? Because that ass is getting blasted tonight.

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