I had a builder in yesterday who had lost his ears in a bandsaw.
"Fucking hell," I said,
"how do you manage?"
"I can still hear," he said,
"I just get on with it."
"No, I mean where do you put your pencil?"
How do you make a dog sound like a cat?
Put it in dry ice for a day, stick it on a bandsaw: the dog goes "MRRRRRROW".
How do you make a cat sound like a dog?
Douse it in gasoline and strike a match: the cat goes "WOOF!"
(no animals were harmed in the creation of this joke.)
Horrible animal jokes inside.
How do you get a dog to sound like a cat? Stick it in the freezer for a few hours, then run it through a bandsaw and it goes "MRRREEOOW".
BONUS JOKE: How do you get a cat to sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it and light it up and it goes "WHOOF".
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