UPJOKE
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My friend told me if I put the end of my penis in ice water my balls would stop itching.

Cool tip.

An Engineer Dies And Goes to Hell…

An Engineer dies and goes to Hell. Dissatisfied with the level of comfort, he starts designing and building improvements. After a while, Hell has air conditioning, ice water, flush toilets, and escalators, and the Engineer is a pretty popular guy. One day God calls and asks Satan, “So, how are thing...

A man went to see his doctor . . .

"Doctor," he said, "my head's stuffed up, I'm sneezing, I'm coughing, I've got the chills. I think I have a cold. What should I do?"

The doctor says, "First, you should soak in a tub of ice water for about a half hour. Then, you should stand in front of a fan that is going full blast. The...

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The president of the USA is meeting with the president of Russia at Moscow

The USA president sees a red button next to his chair, hr presses it once and a ice water bucket falls on his face, he press it second time and the chair gives him a punch, he presses third time and the chair kicks him out.
Few months later the Russian President comes to Washington, he sees a red...

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Gordon Ramsey's Water

Gordon Ramsey walks in

Chef: Would you like some Ice water chef?

Gordon Ramsey: is the Ice fresh

Chef: it's frozen

FUCKEN EL

A man and his dog were walking along a road

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.

He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them..

After a while, they came to...

My girlfriend doesn’t know her way around the kitchen...

The other day she comes in the room and says “you’re looking a little sick. Is there anything I can get you?”

I said “yes, I’d love some ice water.”

She comes back 3 minutes later, and hands me an onion.

I asked “what the hell is this?”

She said “cut that up. It will make...

My X-gf has a really big heart. I have to give her that.

She needs it, to pump all the ice water around.

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I just thought up a misogynist syllepsis:

She spilled a pitcher of ice water in my lap, so I cold-cocked her.

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Old man goes to the doctor...

An older gentleman goes to the doctor and tells him he has erectile dysfunction. The doc scratches his chin, and then snaps his fingers.

"I've got just the thing for you! This is a new medicine; just cleared clinical trials. You'll feel like you're twenty again!"

"Anything to get me ba...

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