What’s Gollum‘s favourite horror movie?

The Ring

My friend asked if I wanted to go out for a horror movie.

I said I'd prefer the movie.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There's a new horror movie out about the evil offspring of adult movie stars.

It's call Children of the Porn.

While discussing horror movies, my friend asked me who my favorite monster from film is.

Me: "Hmmm that's a tough one. I think I'd have to go with the vampire from Sesame Street."

Friend: "What!? He doesn't count."

Me: "Oh I assure you, he does."

What would you call a horror movie set in a post-gasoline world?

The Silence of The Lambos

You shouldn't see any horror movie today

It May, Fri 10 you

Edit (after 9 hours) : I am so very sorry I posted this too late. I am reading a lot of comments saying they can't tell this to anyone now since it's now the 11th. I had been waiting a long time for this and set up calendar reminders and everything but didn't see the remind...

What do you call a place to buy bootleg horror movies?

A Spookeasy

Why is everyone obsessed with that new horror movie?

Like, i was driving today and this is the third time someone has rolled down their window and yelled to me: Hey! Watch It!

How do you call website, where you can watch online horror movies?

Screaming service

Have you seen the horror movie about a bunch of campers that get killed?

It’s in tents.

I saw a commercial for a new horror movie featuring a clown...

...And said to myself "that's IT?"

I'm writing a horror movie script about a sentient pen and it's going really well so far

It's practically writing itself

My friend swears he loves horror movies involving clowns

I'm not certain, but I think he means It.

A horror movie in a deaf school would work quite well...

...because no one would hear you scream.

I won't say my life's a horror movie...

But I do get ghosted a lot.

The local radio station was asking listeners to call on with their favorite Stars in Horror Movie

I was the first caller and said "Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman"! Apparently enunciation is EVERYTHING.

I love horror movies.

I’d know a good one if I Saw 1

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Horror Movie

A man pours himself a drink and sits down to watch TV.

After 3 or 4 cocktails, he starts yelling at the TV " Don't go in that Church. Don't you do it you Stupid Son of a Bitch!"

His wife comes into the living room and asks "What kind of Horror Movie are you watching?"

"Our Weddi...

Difference between Romantic and Horror Movie

After watching a romantic one, you look for your teddy to hug.
After watching a horror one, your teddy starts looking at you

I watched a horror movie about pogo sticks.

Too many jump scares.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was invited to a theater to watch a pornographic horror movie...

But I was too scared to come.

What's an Alzheimer patient's favorite horror movie?

The Blair...Which project?
[Made my roomie laugh at least]

What do horror movies and printer ink have in common?

The black one always dies first.

I like horror movies because of the musics

They all have killer soundtracks

Why do cows never walk out of horror movies?

They're able to stomach a lot.

Horror movies are like a box of chocolates

The dark ones always go first

Horror movies are always much tamer when I watch them on my iPhone

I have it set to Do Not Disturb

A Man was watching TV one day, when all of a sudden he began screaming in terror.

"Don't go in the Church!" He cried


"it's a trap!"




"Mom, is Dad watching a horror movie?" His son asked



"No dear, He's watching our wedding video." The mom replied

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Daughter asks her mother: "Mom, can I go to the movies with my friend?"

"And what kind of movie are you going to watch?" said the mother.

"A Horror movie," the daughter replied

"Well, you can't," said the mother...

"To be all scared and get closer to him in the cinema."

"Well, what about an romantic movie then?" the daughter asked.

"Oh...

How to not feel alone

Step 1: wait until its 1 am

Step 2: dim the lights

Step 3: watch a horror movie

Step 4: enjoy the feeling of not feeling alone!

Feeling lonely during quarantine?

Go watch a horror movie.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[nsfw] Totally legit, but you can use a joke if you want to.

**Scene:** I was living in an apartment complex where all the bedroom windows faced into a small courtyard of sorts, walled on three sides with 3 stories of bedroom windows. None of the apartments in this complex have air-conditioning. It's close to midnight, December in Sydney AUS, it's a hot humid...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You're lucky it wasn't the black horse!

About a month ago I was driving to my mothers house late on a Friday evening. It was pitch black, so I had the lights on high beam, and I was driving along a country road when all of a sudden my engine cut out. So I pulled over and got out to have a look - sometimes I can fix it myself. It was very ...

Curiosity killed the...

...white people in horror movies.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I thought I’d surprise my new girlfriend after a recent movie talk we had. So, tonight when she came over, I had a Pornhub movie with a prostitute scenario on. She saw it, told me to never talk to her again, and stormed out.

I am starting to think she told me she likes “horror movies”...

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