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Horror Movie Jokes

I was watching a horror movie about the Apocalypse.

It took me 5 minutes to realise I was on the news channel.

I was watching a horror movie and was screaming at the main character to not go through the door

My wife asks me from the kitchen what movie am I watching.

She wasn't thrilled when I told her it's our wedding tape.

What’s Gollum‘s favourite horror movie?

The Ring

While discussing horror movies, my friend asked me who my favorite monster from film is.

Me: "Hmmm that's a tough one. I think I'd have to go with the vampire from Sesame Street."

Friend: "What!? He doesn't count."

Me: "Oh I assure you, he does."

Why is everyone obsessed with that new horror movie?

Like, i was driving today and this is the third time someone has rolled down their window and yelled to me: Hey! Watch It!

What do horror movies and printer ink have in common?

The black one always dies first.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There's a new horror movie out about the evil offspring of adult movie stars.

It's call Children of the Porn.

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Horror Movie

A man pours himself a drink and sits down to watch TV.

After 3 or 4 cocktails, he starts yelling at the TV " Don't go in that Church. Don't you do it you Stupid Son of a Bitch!"

His wife comes into the living room and asks "What kind of Horror Movie are you watching?"

"Our Weddi...

You shouldn't see any horror movie today

It May, Fri 10 you

Edit (after 9 hours) : I am so very sorry I posted this too late. I am reading a lot of comments saying they can't tell this to anyone now since it's now the 11th. I had been waiting a long time for this and set up calendar reminders and everything but didn't see the remind...

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3 guys were at a sleep over

They just watched a horror movie so decide to sleep on the same bed.
In the morning when they wake up.
The guy on the left says "I had great dream where he was being wanked of by a hot blond"
The guy on right says "Oh shit, I had a dream where I was being wanked of but by a brunette"
T...

My friend asked if I wanted to go out for a horror movie.

I said I'd prefer the movie.

What would you call a horror movie set in a post-gasoline world?

The Silence of The Lambos

What do you call a place to buy bootleg horror movies?

A Spookeasy

I saw a commercial for a new horror movie featuring a clown...

...And said to myself "that's IT?"

I love horror movies.

I’d know a good one if I Saw 1

Two day ago, my wife watched a romance movie.

That night, we had a romantic dinner.

Yesterday, she watched an erotic movie, and last night was fantastic.

Today, I'm deleting all the horror movie channels.

Difference between Romantic and Horror Movie

After watching a romantic one, you look for your teddy to hug.
After watching a horror one, your teddy starts looking at you

Have you seen the horror movie about a bunch of campers that get killed?

It’s in tents.

A horror movie in a deaf school would work quite well...

...because no one would hear you scream.

Why do cows never walk out of horror movies?

They're able to stomach a lot.

If you ever feel lonely...

just dim down the lights and put on a couple horror movies. After a while, you won't feel like you are alone anymore.

My friend swears he loves horror movies involving clowns

I'm not certain, but I think he means It.

Why did 4 not watch horror movies?

It's was 2 squared!

How do you call website, where you can watch online horror movies?

Screaming service

What horror movie would Shakespeare find hilarious?

The Thing

I won't say my life's a horror movie...

But I do get ghosted a lot.

I watched a horror movie about pogo sticks.

Too many jump scares.

Horror movies are like a box of chocolates

The dark ones always go first

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I was invited to a theater to watch a pornographic horror movie...

But I was too scared to come.

I'm writing a horror movie script about a sentient pen and it's going really well so far

It's practically writing itself

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[nsfw] Totally legit, but you can use a joke if you want to.

**Scene:** I was living in an apartment complex where all the bedroom windows faced into a small courtyard of sorts, walled on three sides with 3 stories of bedroom windows. None of the apartments in this complex have air-conditioning. It's close to midnight, December in Sydney AUS, it's a hot humid...

What's an Alzheimer patient's favorite horror movie?

The Blair...Which project?
[Made my roomie laugh at least]

Horror movies are always much tamer when I watch them on my iPhone

I have it set to Do Not Disturb

The local radio station was asking listeners to call on with their favorite Stars in Horror Movie

I was the first caller and said "Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman"! Apparently enunciation is EVERYTHING.

How do you cure loneliness?

Watch a horror movie by yourself in a dark room. The feeling will soon go away.

the ring

My girlfriend got really excited last night when I went down on one knee and handed her the Ring. We take vintage horror movie night very seriously.

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Daughter asks her mother: "Mom, can I go to the movies with my friend?"

"And what kind of movie are you going to watch?" said the mother.

"A Horror movie," the daughter replied

"Well, you can't," said the mother...

"To be all scared and get closer to him in the cinema."

"Well, what about an romantic movie then?" the daughter asked.

"Oh...

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You're lucky it wasn't the black horse!

About a month ago I was driving to my mothers house late on a Friday evening. It was pitch black, so I had the lights on high beam, and I was driving along a country road when all of a sudden my engine cut out. So I pulled over and got out to have a look - sometimes I can fix it myself. It was very ...

A Man was watching TV one day, when all of a sudden he began screaming in terror.

"Don't go in the Church!" He cried


"it's a trap!"




"Mom, is Dad watching a horror movie?" His son asked



"No dear, He's watching our wedding video." The mom replied

Curiosity killed the...

...white people in horror movies.

How to not feel alone

Step 1: wait until its 1 am

Step 2: dim the lights

Step 3: watch a horror movie

Step 4: enjoy the feeling of not feeling alone!

Weebs doing a crossword puzzle

Person 1: Second person personal pronoun. 3 letters

Person 2: You

Person 1: Past participle of fall. 4 letters

Person 2: Fell

Person 1: Not the number, but the word. 3 letters

Person 2: For

Person 1: Horror movie that received a sequel in 2019. 2 letters
...

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I thought I’d surprise my new girlfriend after a recent movie talk we had. So, tonight when she came over, I had a Pornhub movie with a prostitute scenario on. She saw it, told me to never talk to her again, and stormed out.

I am starting to think she told me she likes “horror movies”...

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