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Harvester Jokes

How many lawyers does it take to grease a combine harvester?

Just one, but you squeeze them through really slowly.

A farmer buys a combine harvester

He's accidentally chops his finger off one day, inspecting a blade.

So the wife bags the finger up and takes him to the hospital. The doctor looks at it and performs micro surgery which re-attaches it like brand new.

Some weeks later the farmer somehow gets his leg chopped off. Panicki...

If partially sighted people want the right to drive combine harvesters...

I'm not going to stand in their way.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Optimus Prime has had a sexy change and is now a Combine Harvester

He’s a Trans-Farmer

Who is a grain harvester's favorite musical artist?

Hall'n Oates

Gamers and organ harvesters are similar in some ways.

They both loot through chests hoping to find rare loot to sell later on.

In the divorce court today

In the divorce court today an 85-year old farmer divorced his 17-year old wife, claiming he could not keep his hands off her.

He has since fired all of his hands and bought a combine harvester.

My Mexican employee who works on my farm doesn’t like the nickname I’ve given him...

He’s my International Harvester.

A young boy was obsessed with farming machinery

A young boy was obsessed with farming machinery, he built models, he drew them, and spent all his free time going to his local farm just for a look at a combine harvester or a hay baler.

As he aged, his interest in mechanised agriculture slowly disappeared, and by the time he was married with...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Top 10 Edinburgh Fringe Festival Jokes

Here are the Top 10 2017 Edinburgh Fringe Festival Jokes!

1. “I’m not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change.” Ken Cheng


2. “Trump’s nothing like Hitler. There’s no way he could write a book.” Frankie Boyle


3. “I’ve given up asking rhetorical q...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hello! Mr. Hussein?

Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering who to invade next when his telephone rang.

"Hallo! Mr. Hussein," a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy up in County Cavan, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Paddy," Sadd...

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