I would never vaccinate my kids. That is unnatural, dangerous, pointless, expensive, reckless and harmful.
I take my kids to the doctor so that they can vaccinate them instead.
Recycled joke material is more harmful than cigarettes
I've seen the laughter of an entire audience die out from second-hand joke.
Turns out cigarettes are harmful to children...
I probably shoulda used an ashtray anyway.
Did you hear about Fred? He passed away.
Really? That's so sad. What happened?
He got vaccinated yesterday and died this morning.
Oh, no. I knew that vaccines were harmful. It killed him!
Actually, he got hit by a car, a Mercedes. So he died from the Benz.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
How to give your cat a pill
1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. <...
I used to view smokers as rude due to the harmful effects of secondhand smoke.
Now that assisted-suicide is legal, I view them as polite.
TIL Steve Irwin had a failed "Crocodile Hunter" sunscreen brand.
Apparently it didn't protect you from harmful rays
A teacher got fed up with a student for procrastinating so she presented him with a study showing how putting things off can be harmful.
He responded “Thanks. I’ll read it tomorrow”
New study shows procrastination is as harmful to mental health as alcohol abuse
To combat this, I've decided to form Procrastinators anonymous, please consider joining it!
You know Steve Irwin would still be alive if he wore sunscreen.
Would have protected him from the harmful rays.
Why did the ambassador have extra resistance to harmful foreign bacteria?
He had diplomatic immunity.
By the year 2020, the word "Silly" will be considered Harmful.
It will be replaced by "Seriously Challenged."
Did you hear Steve Irwin's family is suing Coppertone? He was wearing it, but it didn't protect him from harmful rays.
John didn't wear the mask
**The dialog about John who didn't wear mask and regretted it and his friend**
\- John, put on your mask!
*- No! It's harmful.*
\- John put it on, what are you doing?
*- I ignore the masks*
\- John! Get out of here and don't ever come to a Halloween party l...
At the time of his death, Steve Irwin was testing a new sunblock...
Turns out it doesn't protect against harmful rays.
A rabbit is running in the woods, he sees a giraffe smoking pot.
- Dude, don’t smoke it, it’s harmful for your body. Let's keep it healthy, come run with me, and they start running.
A little later they see an elephant prepared to snort cocaine.
- My elephant friend, drop the cocaine, come run with us.
After a little run, they see the lion ...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN:
**NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN:**
Please be advised that anyone planning to dash through the snow in a one-horse open sleigh, going over the fields and laughing all the way are required to undergo a full Risk Assessment addressing the safety of open sleighs. This assessment must also consider wheth...
A tourist was passing through a town in the heat of summer.
He wanted to be sure the water was good to drink, so he asked a local. “Oh, yes,” they assured him. The tourist then asked the local what made them so sure. "Well," they answered, "first we filters it, then we takes out the harmful minerals, then we puts it through some chemical process, and then we...
One day a little girl was saying her prayers
She prayed "dear lord I pray for mommy and daddy but grandma's gonna die" Now her dad overheard this from the next room and thought it very odd but he went on with his business. Now the next day he got a call that the grandmother had infact died.
He was deeply troubled by this so the next ni...
A New Metal has been added to Chemistry
Name: Woman Symbol: Wm Atomic mass: Light when first found... tends to get heavier with time.
- Boils at any time - Can freeze at any time - Melts if treated with love - Very Bitter if Mishandled
**CHEMICAL PROPERTIES** ...
A drunkard walking on the street, is approached by the police at 3:00 AM.
The policeman asks: "Where are you going at this hour?"
The drunkard answers: "I am going to attend a conference on alcohol abuse and the lethal effects on the body, the bad example it creates on chi...