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Garry Jokes

I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov and there was a check tablecloth..

Damn, it took him two hours to pass me the salt.

Why did Garry Kasparov took an hour to pass the salt?

Because the table cloth was checked.

I had dinner with Garry Kasparov at a restaurant with a checked tablecloth...

I asked him to pass the salt, & it took 3 1/2 hours

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Long] I visited my uncle Garry...

My uncle Garry has done a lot of things in his lifetime, he’s something of a ‘jack-of-all-trades, and he told me the biggest problem with doing so much is never being appreciated for just one thing.

We were walking through the town and Garry pointed to a barn, he said “I built that barn over ...

How does Garry Kasparov pay when he goes out to eat?

With a check.

Did you hear the one about Garry Kasperov's biggest fan?

Oh! that old chess nut.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Garry comes to ask the general what's the definition for nuance(russian joke)

The general tells him to take down his pants and bend over. Garry was shocked but what the general said, but did what he told him anyway. Then the general took his dick out and shoved it in Garry's ass.

\- You see Garry. By the looks of it, you have a dick inside of an ass, and I have a dick ...

Garry Glitter gave me my first guitar lesson the other day

He showed me how to finger A minor

The carnival is in town so Bruce invites Garry to spend a romantic warm summer evening with him wandering around the attractions.

Bruce wins a Cupie doll and gives it to Garry. They eat corndogs and cotton candy and both of them are thinking this is the best night of my life.
Then they come across the giant ferris wheel and Garry says “lets go on that big wheel it’s my all time favourite ride in the world.”
Bruce says “...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Larry got the new Secretary

**Garry:** Your New Secretary is very Sexy....

**Larry:** Thanks! she is actually a Robot, Named Doreen, if you squeeze her right breast, she takes dictation & if you squeeze her left breast, she types letters. Will Work as long as you like, no complaining, no sick days, no medical, no de...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So I was in bed with this woman and she said, "Not in the ass."

I said, "Hey, it’s my thumb, it’s my ass. If you don’t like it, go in the other room."

— Garry Shandling

I asked my friends to set me up with a guy in uniform

Garry from Walmart wasn't quite what I had in mind...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I went to the doctor and said, "My penis is burning."

He said, "That means someone is talking about it."

- Garry Shandling. RIP.

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