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Football Play Jokes

What is Robert Kraft's favorite football play?

The rub and tug in the end zone.

What is the object of American football played by really cheap people?

Get the quarter back.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Smart Boy

In a Store a man asked for 1/2 packet of butter.

The salesperson, a young boy, said that only full packs were available in the Store,

but the man insisted on buying only 1/2.

So the boy went inside to the manager’s room and said “An idiot outside wants to buy only 1/2 pack of bu...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

4 Men at a bar discuss the most difficult sport to play. The first man, wide as a dishwasher and having huge muscles all over, says

“I’m a football player, it’s the hardest sport in the world to play! You’ve gotta be in top physical condition and have excellent situational awareness.”

The second man, an older gentleman wearing a collared shirt, says “Sorry champ, but the actual hardest sport to play is golf. Every swing o...

A football player asked his wife if she ever cheated on him

This is translated from Arabic, I don’t know if it’s going to be funny as in Arabic but I’ll try my best *fingers crossed*

A football player once asked his wife if she ever cheated on him, she answered with “yes, three times.” He then asked “Ok, tell me about the first time.” She said, “Do y...

cheating wife

A man asks his wife, how many times have you cheated on me?

His wife answered: 3 times.

husband: What? When was the the first time?

\_Do you remember when you were a football player, but nobody hired you, but then someone did?

husband: When was the the second time?
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Four football players are stranded on a deserted island

One of them succumbs to dehydration and the others begin to panic about their own fates. The eldest of them nods grimly and proposes a solution.

"Lads," he says, "it's not nice, but we're going to have to cannibalise him if we want to survive. I play for Liverpool, so I'll eat his liver."
...

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