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Eyelids Jokes

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Kid born without eyelids.

I just read where a kid was born without eyelids. The doctors have came up with a way to correct the problem, they are going to use his foreskin to make him eyelids. The doctors said that they will work fine and the kid will live a normal life. The only problem is that the kid will be a little cocke...

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There was a kid that was born with no eyelids.

The doctor was able to use the skin from the circumcision to make him new eyelids.
It went really well other than the fact the kid is a little cock-eyed

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A boy was born without eyelids the other day.....

So they grafted some of the foreskin from his penis to make him some eyelids. He's expected to be fine but the doctor said he'll be a little cock-eyed.

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Have you heard about the boy born without eyelids?

With new medical science they removed his foreskin for new eyelids. However they say he will be cockeyed.


Super corny and probably old I know. My uncle told me this before he passed in the most dead pan serious way and I laughed so hard I cried once the punchline hit me.

I just heard a speech on how to use your eyelids

It really opened my eyes

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Doctor: So your child was born without eyelids.

Mother: Well isn't there anything you can do?

Doctor: Yes, when we circumcise him we can take that excess skin and make him eye lids.

Mother: Will he be okay?

Doctor: Yeah, he will be fine, just be a little cock-eyed.

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My Cousin was born with no eyelids. Later when he was circumcised, they used the foreskin to create eyelids for him.

Everything turned out fine......he's just a lil Cock eyed.

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Born with no eyelids

( I usually start this one off by casually asking if someone has been keeping up with the news)

Oh, did you see the story about the missionaries that adopted that baby that was born with no eyelids?

No? It was pretty interesting. So, check it out, this group of missionaries was wor...

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News Report: Child born with no eyelids.

A baby boy has been born without having his eyelid full formed. In a radical new surgery the doctors were able to form eyelids for the foreskin of the child. Doctors report the surgery successful, however the child may be cock-eyed.

A baby camel asks his father, “Dad, why do we have a hump on our back?”

The dad replies, "So that we can store water in those."


He then asks, "Why do we have hooves then?"


The dad replies, "To prevent our feet from sinking in the sand."


After thinking this over, he then asks, "Then why do we have big eyelids?”



The dad rep...

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Did you see on the news the boy who was born with no eyelids?

The doctors rushed him to emergency surgery for his circumcision and immediately replaced his eyelids with his foreskin in a miraculous surgery. The doctor was praised and during an interview stated "the boy is going to be just fine, we don't see any major complications in his future however he may ...

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A baby was born premature without eyelids

The doctors were baffled because they had never seen a baby born without eyelids before. Obviously eyelids are an important part of the human body so the doctors decided the best thing to do was take skin from somewhere else and use it to make eyelids for the baby.

The parents of the baby we...

Steal everyone's eyelids and no one bats an eye

Remove their brains from their skulls and everyone loses their mind.

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Did you hear about the boy born with no eyelids?

They used the skin from his circumcision to make his new eyelids.

The doctor said he made it through the surgery fine, but may end up a little cockeyed.

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Kid born without eyelids

Just saw in the news that a kid at a nearby hospital was born without any eyelids.

Poor little guy had a hard time sleeping until a doc fixed his issue by using the baby's foreskin to create eyelids.

Kid is doing alright now. He's just a little cockeyed.

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NSFW Back in the 1990’s, a baby boy was born without eyelids.

His parents go to a plastic surgeon and the surgeon finds out the boy hasn’t been circumcised yet.

The foreskin has nearly the same tissue as the eyelids, so the surgeon suggests a procedure using the baby’s foreskin to fix this problem.

Ecstatic, the parents agree.

After a few...

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I woman had just given birth to a baby boy...

The doctor was holding him and told the parent,"I regret to inform you that your son was born without eyelids." The mother replies," That's terrible. What are we going to do?" The doctor says," I've seen this before, don't worry. We will circumcise him and use the foreskin to make him new eyelids." ...

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Did you hear about the little boy born with no eyelids?

After they circumcised him the attached the leftover foreskin to his eyes and made new eyelids.

The doctors said he would be alright..

..just a little cock-eyed.

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A plastic surgeon at Johns Hopkins just performed surgery on a child born without eyelids, circumcising him and replaced the missing lids with the harvested tissue. The boy's new eyelids work almost perfectly and, since they were made from his own tissue, rejection won't be a problem.

When speaking to reporters, though, the surgeon admitted that the boy does look a little cockeyed.

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A kid at our local hospital was born without eyelids...

The doctor came up with this ingenious idea. When he circumcised the baby he took the skin and grafted it in his forehead above his eyes for eyelids.The operation was successful, however,he might come out a little cockeyed.

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Have you heard about the baby born without eyelids?

The doctor took the baby's foreskin and and created perfect eyelids.

"Oh, my goodness! This is amazing news!

Will there be any long term effects?" the Mother asked.

"Well" the Doctor replied, "He may be a bit cock-eyed".

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A boy is born without eyelids...

A boy who was born without eyelids is making national headlines as he has just undergone experimental surgery to use his foreskin to craft new eyelids. The surgery was a success and the boy is recovering perfectly. However, he will be a little cockeyed.

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Did you hear about the kid born without eyelids?

Yeah, apparently a baby boy was born without eyelids just last week! Obviously that was a problem and the child's sight wouldn't last long unless the doctors acted quick, so they decided to take a skin graft from the boy and use it to protect his eyes. The most logical solution for the quick thinkin...

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A baby boy born without eyelids...

Recently at a baby boy was born prematurely without eyelids. The doctors decided to take him off to surgery and circumcise him and use the skin removed to make new eyelids.

The surgery went great except he came out a little cocked eyed...

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Did you hear about the boy born with no eyelids?

The doctors chose to use foreskin for the grafts because the skin was so similar.

I suppose you could say the boy is cock-eyed.

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A woman gives birth to a baby boy with no eyelids.

The parents are, as expected, devastated by Their son’s deformity.
Fortunately, at the hospital is a world-renowned optical surgeon, who gives hope to the distraught couple. He can replace the infant’s eyelids with the skin that will be cut away when the newborn is circumcised, since it is as de...

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A kid was born without eyelids.

Don't worry the doctor assured the father.
When we circumcise him we will use the skin to make him new eyelids. After the procedure the father is with the doctor. Well what do you think of the procedure? asks the doctor. I don't know? Does he look a little cockeyed to you?

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Needed: Eyelids

A baby is born with no eyelids. The doctors need a solution, and fast. The best solution, and the one they arrive at, is to use his foreskin for his new eyelids. They successfully attach his foreskin as eyelids, with only one complication. Now hes a little cock-eyed.

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There was a boy born without any eyelids

And it caused him terrible discomfort and to make matters worse, the doctors feared he would inevitably go blind one day.

Then one doctor came up with an ingenious solution. He planned to circumcise the boy and use his foreskin to make new eyelids for him.

After a lengthy procedure, th...

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A boy born without eyelids had a miracle operation...

A boy born without eyelids had a miracle operation in which the doctors circumcised him and used his foreskin to form new lids.

The operation was highly successful, and the boy should be able to see normally. The doctor noted, however, that he will remain cockeyed.

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A baby boy is born without eyelids

A baby boy is born without eyelids. The parents are distraught, asking the doctor what can be done. "There's a procedure, experimental, but successful in all cases," the doctor explains. "The procedure involves using the foreskin removed during circumcision, and using it as the eyelids." "Why, t...

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Did you guys hear about the baby that was born without eyelids?

He's a boy, and the were gonna circumcise him anyway, so the surgeon used the foreskin to make new eyelids.

Don't worry, the baby's doing great. He's just a little cockeyed.

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I was born without eyelids, so they created them from my foreskin...

Now I’m a little cock-eyed.

My dad has a lazy eye and tells this joke when someone asks about it.

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A man who was born without eyelids...

...agreed to undergo a revolutionary operation where the missing skin was replaced by foreskin tissue.

He is a lot happier now, although he looks a little cock eyed.

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I knew a kid in grade school who was born with deformed eyelids...

...So they took the flesh from his circumcision to fix his deformity. For the rest of his life he was cock-eyed.

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There was a little girl who really loved dolls. She had a big collection of them in her bedroom.

There was a little girl who really loved dolls. She had a big collection of them in her bedroom. One day, while she was browsing through a shop on her own, she spotted a really beautiful doll. It would make a perfect addition to her collection. She only hoped she had enough money to buy it.

“...

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Medical student here. Was rotating in the neonatal unit where they were taking care of a poor little boy born without eyelids.

After some discussion, the plastic surgeons decided to use the foreskin from his circumcision for his new eyelids. The procedure was mostly a success, but unfortunately it left the boy cockeyed.

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My niece was born with no eyelids, bless her heart, but the doctors were able to replace them with surgically removed foreskin...

Only side effect is she's a little cock-eyed now.

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Did anyone else hear about the baby who was born recently, without eyelids? The doctors actually used his foreskin to make a pair of lids for him.

It was an experimental procedure, and it worked great!.... except now he's all cock-eyed.

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NSFW - Did you hear about the little boy who was born without eyelids? They took the skin from his circumcision and surgically attached it to his eyes!

But now the poor kid is cock-eyed.

A Viking sailed across Europe challenging people to staring contests.

He was so confident in his abilities that he promised to hand over all of the gold he had pillaged to anyone who could defeat him. The news spread throughout Europe, catching the attention of a couple in Ireland whose daughter was born without eyelids.

Believing that their daughter was guaran...

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A Jewish woman is talking to her doctor after giving birth.

"We have a strange situation here," the doctor states. "Your son was born without eyelids. But there's an experimental procedure we can try. After the circumcision, we can take the leftover skin, and make him a new set of eyelids."

"Won't that make him cockeyed?"

"Sure, but think of th...

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There was a tragic birth defect that affected a young couples' first born child.

The doctor looked at the new parents and said. "Your baby is healthy, but he was born without eyelids. The parents were shocked and the new mother started to weep.

"Is there anything that can be done to fix this?" She asked, choking on her tears.

The doctor thought a moment when an ...

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Medical science has come a long way.

There's a tribe in Africa whose exposure to chemical runoff in the water from local mines created birth defects. One out of every three children are born with no eyelids. Volunteer doctors created a procedure where they take the foreskin from new born males and create eyelids for those born without ...

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I had to go to the hospital to help my wife deliver a baby

While I was there my wife suddenly started freaking out about what if the baby came out with a birth defect. Everything was going through her head from it having six toes to having three heads. Eventually it got bad enough that a doctor had to come in and calm her down. Her first question was what w...

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How to attract women:

My friend keeps complaining that he can't attract women. I told him "Why don't you try a sexy look...like lowering your eyelids and biting your lip?"

My friend takes the advice and runs off. He comes back complaining "I TRIED YOUR SUGGESTION AND THE GIRLS KEPT RUNNING AWAY SCREAMING!" ...

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A baby was born

A baby was born without any eyelids. The doctor that delivered the baby called a surgeon in for help. The surgeon decided to use the baby's foreskin to create eyelids.

The surgeon asked the OB, "How does he look?"

The OB looked at the boy and said, "He looks a little cockeyed."

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Speaking of foreskins.....

A baby boy was born back in 2015 with a rare condition called Ablepharon-macrostomia syndrome that left him without eyelids.  This happened in my small resort town in upstate NY, it turned that there was a world-renowned plastic surgeon in town and he performed a surgery to correct the condition. Du...

Three little ducks walk into a bar...

"Say, what's your name?" the bartender asked the first duck.

"Huey," was the reply.

"How's your day been, Huey?"


"Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else could a duck want?" said Huey.

"Oh. That's nice," said the bartender....

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My circumcision gave me a chance at a normal life.

I was born with a disorder where my eyelids didn’t develop properly in the womb. When they performed my circumcision, they used the foreskin that they removed to give me proper eyelids. My surgery went well but I’m still a little cock-eyed.

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A man was in a Terrible fire.

Third degree burns covers his legs torso arms and face. Luckily he had enough skin intact for skin grafts. The doctor worked tirelessly graphing him from top to bottom. They were almost finished when they got to his eyelids. The doctor was stuck trying to figure out what to do to graft this youn...

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So my dad came home from working the maternity ward..

And he tells me he had a wild day. There was this kid borne today with no eyelids! The doctors had no idea what to do and the mother was quite worried.

But my dad told the doctor he had an idea. The boy hadn’t been circumcised yet. The doctor said it was brilliant and got the boy into surger...

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There was a groundbreaking surgery performed here in Houston, TX.

A baby was born recently that had a congenital condition that caused problems with the development of the delicate tissues on his face. The poor child was born without eyelids. Resourceful doctors and surgeons came up with a plan to circumcise the baby boy and use his foreskin to construct new eyeli...

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My newborn son...

was born with no eyelids. Luckily, the doctor was able to use the foreskin (after they circumcised him) to make eyelids for him. They say he's gonna be ok...he'll just be a little cockeyed.

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A couple is in the hospital after the wife just had a baby.

The doctor comes up to them with a concerned expression. "Your son is perfectly healthy, but I'm afraid he doesn't have eyelids. What we can do is graft a pair with the skin left after we circumcise him"

The dad asks "But won't be end up cock-eyed?".

The doctor says" Oh, no. If anythi...

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Eye surgery

Doctor-Your son was born without eyelids and we had to perform emergency surgery to protect his eyes

Mother-What did you do?

Doctor-We took part of his foreskin and used it for his eyelids

Mother-Is he okay?

Doctor-He's a little cock eyed

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Our local hospital made medical history.

A boy was born with no eyelids.When they circumsised him they were able to take the foreskin and graft it above his eyes for,wholla,eye lids.The operation was successfull, although ,he might come out a little cockeyed.

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A joke that my grandfather would always tell

A young Jewish man gets married and decides to start a family with his wife. His wife gets pregnant almost immediately and they are extremely happy for a while. Once the baby was born, however, they were extremely distressed as he was born with no eyelids.

The doctor, being the genius that h...

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I had to have foreskin removed when I was thirteen

My sister was born with no eyelids and the doctor suggested making them out of foreskin.
Worked awesome, she can blink and wink normally. Only thing is that she is a bit cockeyed...

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He's Cockeyed

Some years ago there was a baby boy born to a happy family. However the doctors were shocked to see that he was born without eyelids. The baby was destined to be blind so the doctors were scrambling to find a solution for him.

One of the doctors suggested he simply learn to be blind, another...

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A man goes to the doctors to get his first son circumcised...

A man goes to the doctors to get his first son circumcised. He meets with a pediatrician who says "ya know we used to use the foreskin from the circumcision to do skin transplants for kids born without eyelids... But we had to stop because they started coming out cockeyed"

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We had our first child and he's beautiful, but he had a rare birth defect.

He was born without eyelids. We had to keep his eyes irrigated and shielded from light while they searched for a pediatric plastic surgeon who could correct it.

Fortunately one of the top surgeons in our region was available. When our attending physician explained the situation to him, he ask...

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The burn victim

A kid burns his eyelids off one day playing with fireworks. He's rushed to the hospital where they conduct emergency surgery. The kid was fortunately uncircumcised, so they took the foreskin to replace the lids that had been seared away. His parents however, were furious about the rushed surgery bec...

It was late at night and the salesman had been driving for a while

The rain was as heavy as his eyelids and, as he nodded off and lost control. The car swerved left, then right before crashing upside down into a ditch.

The guy came round, the water in the ditch lapping round his head, he pulled himself loose, feeling the blood running down his head. He stagg...

Wrapping Paper Cowboy

A tall weather-worn cowboy walked into the saloon and ordered a beer. The regulars quietly observed the drifter through half-closed eyelids. No one spoke, but they all noticed that the stranger's hat was made of brown wrapping paper.

Less obvious was the fact that his shirt and vest were als...

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