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What does Eevee evolve into when you give it money?

Patreon

Eevee

A de-evolving Eevee came across a war between the two factions of Eevees: the Flareons, Vaporeons, Jolteons, and Sylveons, and the Umbreons, Espeons, Glaceons, and Leafeons.

Deciding to play both sides, the Eevee snuck into one camp as a Fire type, and managed to gather some information about...

What happens when you give Eevee a French stone?

You get a Napoleon

My wife said she wanted to name our child Eevee because she thought it would be cool to name it after a Pokemon

I said 'ditto'

What do you call an Eevee evolution that specializes in melee?

Bludgeon

There's a new type of stone which turns Eevee into a Ghost-type

It's called a brick.

My Eevee brushed past a car tire and now it's a Flareon.

Must have been a Firestone.

What kind of stone do you need to evolve eevee into a ghost type?

Easy

any stone can do the job, just remember aim for the head

Give an Eevee a Water Stone and it turns into Vaporeon. Give an Eevee a Fire Stone and it turns into Flareon.

Give an Eevee a couple dollars every month for their art project and it turns into Patreon.

What do you get when you feed an Eevee a sandwich?

A Luncheon!

Did you guys see Eevee's new flying-type evolution in Sword and Shield?

It's called Pigeon.

There's a secret evolution of Eevee I found today.

If you pay your Eevee every day for at least a month, it evolves into Patreon.

What happens if you strangle an Eevee to death?

It evolves into Epsteineon.

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